the_mars_volta

I am going to to do my best to recap my trip to the great white north. It all started on a friday afternoon, I had to stick around to take a lame ass mid-term exam. Once I had finished the test, I biked my ars off home, and threw the ride in the garage. I had pre-packed before leaving for class, so once in the door, it was out the door we went. Loaded up the car, and headed for SLC. 6 hrs later, we're at the footstep so goodtime's tattoos. I called ahead and made an appointment with Pete the artist, he stayed late to do me, plus he accepted me as a client, because I guess they are notorious for shunning people away. Got some ink done, A large green V on my right wrist, and a little badass pistola on my left wrist. We were gonna stay in SLC for the eve, but decided to drive a little more before stopping, but Matt called Lindsey and mulled over some technicalities and then we decided to go to Portland instead of going to Seattle first. And since we decided to go to Portland first, we also decided to drive straight through and sleep when we arrived on Sat morn. When we arrived we went and found a cheap ass hotel, the Aladdin Motor in to be exact. Felt like seeing the sites a little first, before taking a nap, and it's a good thing we did. We headed back into downtown Portland, and just drove around looking for nonsense to do, and cam across burnside blvd, and sparked the idea of going to the skatepark. So we traveled up and down the blvd looking for it, and were dumbfounded. I had my trusty Pbook on me, so we drove until I found a signal, searched up the park, which is below burnside bridge. So once we had proper directions, we figured out a way to get there. We got down there around 11 a.m. western time, and just looked around, but there was like no one in site. The only one in the park was a little kid on his razor scooter, his pregnant mom, and his dad, a guy named Brad, a goober on a BMX bike, and some junky passed out in a corner huddled in a sleeping bag. We just chilled out and watched the BMX guy take a couple runs, until Brad came up to us and ask what our story was. We told him we were there on Spring break, and that we were from CO. "Oh CO, you guys got any weed?" "Yeah we have a little." "Oh man, can we smoke a little? CO is notoriously known around these parts for having good smoke and hot women." So, we went to the car, and Brad and Pete smoked a quick bowl. We then returned to the park and continued to chill, Brad took off to do some runs, and Pete, Matt, and I just watched from the sideline. About 5 min later Chet Childress, Black Label's Sickest skatre, shows up with this hot momma skatress. He rips up the park for a little bit, and we observe, the girl was alright I guess. I talked to Brad about maybe getting some strooms, and he said he might know a place, so I asked him to escort us there. But then I change my mind, but he was already packed up and ready to go, so I asked him for directions to veganopolis, which I had mapquested on my Pbook. He said, well I'm need to get to that part of town anyway, can I get a ride and show you how to get there. We agreed. At this point we thought he was kind of sketchy, He talked a lot, sounded kinda outlandish, and was kind of trying to be too buddy-buddy. So we were trying to ditch him. He took us to veganopolis, but Pete didn't want to eat there, and Brad had already eaten. So, Matt and I went into Veganopolis, and Brad and Pete went somewhere else. The food was pretty good, I ordered a Rueben, and got a spelt cookie. Matt ordered a melt of some sort. We grubbed down hardcore, I was in rest mode once finished. Matt informed me that this guy sitting behind us was eyeballing me like nuts, that I guess he wanted to gobble up. I am the gay man's kriptonyte, and you can quote me. Once I cleaned my plate clean, we tried to call Pete, but he didn't answer, so I went next door to subway, where he supposedly went to eat. the door was locked and I came back to the table, where I informed Matt of the disappearance of Pete. He said maybe Brad knocked him out and raped him. The idea didn't sound to far fetched, because we didn't know Brad and he seemed pretty sketch, but I rationalised that since subway was locked for me, it must have been the same for then, so they went and found another place to eat. Which is what had happened. We were still kind of sketched by Brad, so we tried to separate paths, but he kind of invited himself along and offered to show us the sites. Since we weren't really too sure what we were gonna do anyway, we agreed. Gladly now. He first showed us Saturday Market, A huge market that takes up a majority of downtown, and was filled with venders of all sorts, mostly independent artists, some jewelers, and some condiment venders, like the da bomb sauce. Saturday Market was the coolest, there were so many cool venders to check out. He then took us to the water front, which had the Japanese memorial and was full of blossoming cherry trees. At the water front Brad informed us of all the bridges in site, then showed us the nearby river which was being polluted heavily and it was killing all the salmon, and that cleanup was being funded by superfund. This was interesting to me, because that's what we're talking about right now in my environmental politics course, and I have to do a paper on an issue, so I plan on using this one for my project. So anyway, we went walking around downtown some more, and Brad kept thinking about little bits of history every time we passed something deserving. He informed us of Benson Bubblers, Drinking fountains found throughout downtown Portland, built and donated by Simon Benson. Another interesting fact he informed us of was being "shanghaied," which apparently was what happened to drunken sailors in port that were found in the underground shanghai tunnels, then knocked over the head and taken onto vessels and sent to work on the vessels as not-so hired hands. So told us not to get shanghaied. He then took us down to this boardwalk of sorts. It was like a walk/bikeway along the water of portland harbour. Brad showed us some of the bum hangouts and campsites, and then wanted to smoke up again. Pete helped a brother out again. Brad ran out of things to show us, so he said he worked at the Rose Garden, the stadium where the Trail Blazers play, and that he could get us some cheap tickets, so we said what the hay, what else were we gonna do tonight. We went over to the arena on the skytrain, which Brad informed us was free, because we were in the no fare square. This came in handy later when we attended the game. So we got tix for 5 bux a pop. We thought we were parting ways, but Brad didn't have to be to work until 4 and it was like 2 maybe 2:30, so we headed back to Saturday Market. Browsed around a little more, and watched the drum circle. It was time for Brad to take off for work, but he told us to go up to the second level when we got to the Rose garden and he would hook us up with some free or cheap grub. We said right on, and headed back to our room. We took a short nap, I think Pete and Matt took showers. The game started at 7, so we went early so we could meet brad before the game, but someone *cough* *matt* slept too long, so we were running a little late. Once we got there, we headed to our seats, because the game was starting, and we wanted to catch the first quarter, so we chilled in our nose bleed seat, and watched the first quarter and the slam-dunking Elvis'. After the Elvis' did some sick dunks, we headed for the second level, but it was being guarded by some goober, because 2nd level is for preferred guests. So Matt had to get an escort up to the second level to get a hold of Brad, and Brad presented him with Preferred level tickets for all three of us. So we got up to the second level and he hooked Pete and Matt up with half price teriyaki ribs with rice, and hooked me up for free with just rice, which I smothered with the teriyaki sauce. After eating, we went out into the preferred seating area and watched the remainder of the game with a better view. During half-time, the trail-breakers came out and did some sick ass break dancing. After the game was over, we went out to the fountain and met Brad, and he took us back into downtown to show us what the night life was about. Since only he and Pete were allowed to consume alcohol legally, he took us to Voodoo donuts, were I got a couple vegan doughnuts, they were alright. I needed to get to the internet, so Brad took us to a place called coffee time, which was like the sickest spot to get coffee and get on the net, I had never seen so many macs or tasty mommas before in my life, until I got to Vancouver and Seattle. Once we were done checking e-mails and sites and whatnot, it was time for us to part, we got his physical address and he got our e-mail addresses. We'll be in touch. He took off to catch his bus, and we headed back to our hotel for some good ole' fashioned sleep. If we had to go home the next day, this would have been a swell enough spring break, and it was only the first day. Day 3-8 still to come, I'm really tired.