the_fin

A week ago today I lost my wallet. That is to say, I couldn't find my wallet a week ago today *after* I had already come home from everything I had done that day, with a solid and complete memory of handling it (and my change) the last time I dealt with money last Friday. There was no way in hell it jumped up and ran away. Next to no chance in hell that it *fell* out of the pockets in a pair of Tripp pants (if you own any, you know how deep the pockets are). The only other possibility seemed to be that it had perhaps stayed in those same Tripp pants, gotten into the laundry which was done that same evening, and either gotten separated and re-owned by someone in the laundromat (with a whole $16 in it at the time), or flat out stolen by someone who *maybe* saw it spinning around in the dryer. None of these thoughts made any sense at all. No way.

I simply don't *lose* things. Sure, we all set something in the wrong place, get distracted, etc. and not know where something is for a short bit. Sure. Except for my keys, my phone and my *wallet*. They all three always go in the exact same place. Every fucking time! The keys and wallet go right on top of my left side EV 1512 speaker cabinet with the front-loaded 15" woofer and full range horn. And the phone docks to one of the several computers to charge and sync. *sigh* Except this time obviously. Did I mention that I never lose *anything*? BTW, did you know that OCD is contagious? My ex-wife gave it to me. :p That's why I'll never leave the apartment without my keys ever again. Plus, my ADD coping mechanisms are such that I know where all my Shit (in the George Carlin sense) is all the fucking time, so I never lose track of it and lose a whole week replacing it. Did I mention that I lost my wallet a week ago today?

So after the chore of going to the bank, finding out that you can't replace your ATM card without a *valid* ID (i.e. unexpired driver's license) but they will give you a little bit of money at a time cuz they know it's really you on your expired DL, going back to the DMV, filling out the renewal application, finding out it's 28 bucks that you don't have on you because you lost your wallet, going back to the bank, getting that little bit of money I mentioned (that I didn't have anymore from the last time they gave me some the day before because I needed to spend it on stuff such as food and gas), going back to the DMV, paying the 28 clams, getting my interim license papers, going back to the bank, getting a temporary ATM card (no Visa logo, so no purchases at most major retailers), being able to only get $60 the first day for some stupid banking policy reason that no one could explain even though I had a valid ID, going home, getting my checkbook, going back to the bank, writing a check for 300 bills and making them cash it on the spot, and THEN, knowing I had enough money to get by and no rush need for the rest of what was in my missing (I still refused to believe was missing permanently) wallet, I go through the rest of my week.

Now before I continue, you probably need to get another beer and maybe go pee. So I'll wait... OK, ready? When I couldn't find my wallet last Friday (which is why I wasn't at Das Bunker last week, even though I finally had my Element back form the collision shop after some douche bag rear-ended me while I was minding my own business waiting at a red light) I did what I normally do when I run my inventory and suddenly think something isn't where it should be: I freak out for a split second, and then my IT analyst/combat/ninja monkey/spidey senses kick in and I methodically tackle the problem. And I did. I looked all around where it should have been, around, under, behind, etc. Even in my Case Logic Automotive Large Trunk Organizer which was sitting right there, with tools, jumper cables, etc. ready to load into my Element which I mentioned above I had just gotten back from the shop. I looked in it, thinking I can't imagine how it could have gotten knocked off of the speaker cabinet where I normally set my wallet, but I'd better check there to make sure. Nope, I didn't find it in my Automotive Large Trunk Organizer. Never mind that a Honda Element has no trunk. My 2 Jeep Cherokees before the Element also had no trunk, but they accommodated this cool organizer nonetheless.

So here it is Friday night a week later. This has been a stressful, long and hard week. It wasn't without it's fun, blissful pleasures, and productivity, but it was not the easiest week to get through. And I have to be up early tomorrow to go to Corona renfaire site to help my guild with construction for the upcoming season, so I'm not going to go to Bunker this week either. Perhaps next week.

So I began the simple task of cleaning out my Automotive Large Trunk Organizer to get rid of some stuff I don't need to be dragging around in my Element. And low and motherfucking behold, there's my goddamned motherfucking missing wallet! Right where I didn't look quite hard enough to make sure it *wasn't* there. *sigh* So does anybody who doesn't have enough actual education on the subject, but has lots of hearsay and conjecture (which are *kinds* of evidence as noted on The Simpsons) want to argue with me about whether ADD is a real disorder? believe me, I've spent my whole life just *knowing* that all I have to do is try harder, care more, work harder at it, and I'll be fine. This time, not having the focus or attention span to be thorough enough cost me a whole week of aggravation.

Hey, at least I got my wallet back. Which makes me right about not losing anything, and knowing there was no way in hell it was actually *gone*. And there's nothing wrong with having a new DL or ATM card, right? I mean, I haven't had a mohawk in 8 years now anyway... Grrr...