my journal entry for the day is going to be amazingly drunkrospective as i've just returned from last call....plans worked out to be 50/50 for the night so no complaints for this guy. First of all before i start patrone is the best...okay now on to the important stuff.......have you ever felt like this entire existance was a sham? Like you are being watched or ovbserved....or perhaps that this is your own doing....like you programmed all of this and are now your own literary creation from sometime in the future...i guess that would explain de ja voix or however the french spell it....it just blows my mind how you can't fully be sure that you are not the only real true human being....and that everyone else is just playing a small or integral part of a grander scheme....hmmm in any case i have another theory...this revolving around alcohol..as i'm may be a current expert....i think that if there is such a thing as re-encarnation and that someone can live multiple lives starting out at a lower level and gaining significance....when you drink alcohol you drink by drink stip those lives/layers away until you result in that primitive first life...only concerned with food, drink, shelter (maybe), and sex sex sex....
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I guess I just have to say that it does totally blow my mind on a daily basis, but the only thing that keeps me from going crazy about it is... enjoying everything, being present and engaged in everything I do, loving my friends and family and truly enjoying every moment I have with them, just simply letting myself enjoy the simple pleasures that life affords.
It sounds to me that you are hung up on finding meaning behind it all, and not just SOAKING IT UP! Life is amazing.