the_bear

I was quite relieved today when I realised I was ill and not just fucking stupid like I was beginning to feel. So I went to bed and watched Pump Up The Volume, which I have to say is poor in comparison with Heathers, mainly because Christian Slater is much sexier when he's evil.

I might be able to get 7 an hour doing bank caring and auxilary work, unless Rich the Nob, my landlady's mate, is talking bollocks which he usually is... would be good though since I'm running out of money. I'm not used to not getting a portion of loan every so often and I'm sick of hearing myself whinge about being poverty-stricken. :puke

I thought my friend who's in Thailand might be wondering what's been going on in England so I sent him these headlines;

ZOMBIE EPIDEMIC GRIPS LONDON Experts blame cheese.

DAVID BLAINE DIES Scientists blame suffocation due to insertion of head into anus.

POP IDOL SURPRISE WINNER- ORVILLE THE DUCK

FAT MAN EATS ALL THE PIES Experts blame cheese.

GERI HALLIWELL TO MARRY MICHAEL JACKSON Friends say "It was only a matter of time"

HULL IS NUMBER ONE CRAP TOWN IN OFFICIAL BOOK OF CRAP TOWNS

MEN WITH BEARDS HAVE MORE FACIAL HAIR, SAY SCIENTISTS

NEW GUINEA PIG/CAR/GREG ROUSSETSKI COMBO A SUREFIRE WINNER Experts say "Surely not"

DOG SHOP THRIVING IN SCARBOROUGH Paulabear decides to go it alone

ZOMBIE EPIDEMIC SPREADING THROUGHOUT BRITAIN Scientists say "Sweet Jesus make it stop OHHHH FUCKKKK aaaarghhh schlurrrp schlurrp BRAINS BRAINS BRAINS"

Tonight I had fun drawing tattoos on my housemates, and Ruthie drew a giant dormouse eating a tiger on me, and a bum doing a poo into my hand, it was funny I'm quite nicely stoned, and I'm off to bed to dream about zombies eating cheese