How can I stop being such a complete goddamn misanthrope? This game is getting old. I have things to do, and the sick feeling I get in my stomach whenever I consider going out amongst human kind keeps me at home. I was at a bar yesterday, a pair of friends dragged me there against my will. The people there were physically disgusting (aside from the bartender. He was great.). One of the friends I was there with, a small and curvy woman, actually asked me to play big and tough for her so the multitude of nasty fuckers would leave her alone. I was born to be a viking so I do that job well, but the poor girl attracts sleaze like sharks to blood. I told her she should be less friendly, that she should go ahead and be a jerk like me, but some people don't want to live like that y'know? I can't blame her. She had more fun than I did, and doesn't feel sick at the thought of going out amongst whomever. That's a good thing. I do keep trying, but it seems to get worse almost every time. Sometimes I find good places to go and I go back to those places again and again, but most people just make me fucking sick. I can't escape the thought that the world would be better off if they choked on their own bile. I don't like thinking this way. I've got things to do, and a life to enjoy. I need to find a way to maginalize the idiots and assholes so they don't matter to me. Any advice?
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As the years progressed, I tempered these traits into a pointed attitude which amounted to a general contempt for life itself. Strangely enough, this didn't really put much of a crimp on my social life. The dregs of humanity seemed to flock to me. However, it must be said: junkies will give you fleas and, of course, there is no honor among thieves.
As I have grown older, I have mellowed quite a bit. I had to. I learned the hard way that hating is physically and mentally bad for me. I now practice a form of "professional detachement" from people. I don't talk much and I seldom smile. Except when I'm really high or intoxicated. Balance and a grudging nod toward moderation is the key.