How can I stop being such a complete goddamn misanthrope? This game is getting old. I have things to do, and the sick feeling I get in my stomach whenever I consider going out amongst human kind keeps me at home. I was at a bar yesterday, a pair of friends dragged me there against my will. The people there were physically disgusting (aside from the bartender. He was great.). One of the friends I was there with, a small and curvy woman, actually asked me to play big and tough for her so the multitude of nasty fuckers would leave her alone. I was born to be a viking so I do that job well, but the poor girl attracts sleaze like sharks to blood. I told her she should be less friendly, that she should go ahead and be a jerk like me, but some people don't want to live like that y'know? I can't blame her. She had more fun than I did, and doesn't feel sick at the thought of going out amongst whomever. That's a good thing. I do keep trying, but it seems to get worse almost every time. Sometimes I find good places to go and I go back to those places again and again, but most people just make me fucking sick. I can't escape the thought that the world would be better off if they choked on their own bile. I don't like thinking this way. I've got things to do, and a life to enjoy. I need to find a way to maginalize the idiots and assholes so they don't matter to me. Any advice?
More Blogs
-
4
Thursday Aug 03, 2006
Can I get a mother fuckin' amen? I think I may have aquired a job.… -
3
Wednesday Aug 02, 2006
My brain is malfunctioning. I'll get back to you later. I need … -
5
Sunday Jul 30, 2006
Another day of nothing much to say. I lived on beer and waffle fries… -
6
Thursday Jul 27, 2006
Got them empty cage blues... but no new news... Yup, that's about… -
1
Tuesday Jul 25, 2006
This has been a fucked up day. My rat, named Ra'at, has had a tumor … -
1
Sunday Jul 23, 2006
I'm back to considering going back to school, again. My friends and … -
2
Friday Jul 21, 2006
Oh my god it BURNS!!! FUCK!!! I think I'm addicted to driving myse… -
2
Monday Jul 17, 2006
Am I irritating and/or creepy? Just wondering. -
0
Wednesday Jul 12, 2006
It is my intention to stop speaking coherently. Blah blah blah, and … -
3
Monday Jul 10, 2006
Friends are just enemies that don't have the guts to kill you!! He…
As the years progressed, I tempered these traits into a pointed attitude which amounted to a general contempt for life itself. Strangely enough, this didn't really put much of a crimp on my social life. The dregs of humanity seemed to flock to me. However, it must be said: junkies will give you fleas and, of course, there is no honor among thieves.
As I have grown older, I have mellowed quite a bit. I had to. I learned the hard way that hating is physically and mentally bad for me. I now practice a form of "professional detachement" from people. I don't talk much and I seldom smile. Except when I'm really high or intoxicated. Balance and a grudging nod toward moderation is the key.