I'm starting to feel like... Anything that I do will not make it better. I mean. I am trying to fix my weight problem. I don't like working factory jobs so I'm going to go to school, but I also need to save up for a car. I also have a goal to own a house withing the next 10 years. But I think once I've accomplished these things... I will still feel the same, I will still feel like a loser, a bum, a nobody. Someone all my friends care about, but also feel bad for and secretly talk about behind my back. Sometimes I wish my dad succeeded in killing me when I was a baby. Then I wouldn't have hurt the people I did...
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Stop caring about impressing others because no one gives a shit whether you succeed or fail.
See, it's not that no one cares about you. That is not true. Personally, I would love to see you succeed in something you love, whether it's music or art or whatever..
It's that they are more worried about their own shit to notice what you are doing.
So the only one you should succeed for is YOU.
Lose weight for you. Get a better job or go to school for YOU. Worry about what YOU think about YOU.
Once you are satisfied with yourself, your confidence will go up.
Stop caring about what others percieve you as and fucking live your life man.
And of course, I mean this with brotherly love.
plus:
you are amazing.
nobody thinks that about you - and if they do, they arnt worth your time.. becuase they are prolly in way worse condition than you are. because your not in bad condition.
you have goals.
you know what you want.
you know what you have to do to get there.
thats more than alot of people i know.. me included.
dont be so hard on yourself.