thanatogenous

I blogged a few days ago about Comic Con but I didn't include anything else I've been up to so I wanted to fill you guys in.

Life has still been an emotional roller coaster for me but there seems to be more time between the free falls so thats progress, right? I'm struggling to find ways to identify myself, I really don't know exactly who I am anymore and that makes me less confident. I used to hula hoop a ton and spin fire which made me feel awesome but for some reason it doesn't peak my interest like it used to. I'm going to attend the open fire spin in Davis next week to find out if its still something I want to be involved in. I've lived in the area a year and a half but have not managed to make the local fire spinning nights.

I have been trying to get into the bone arts.





These are just a couple things I'm working on. Its very tedious and time consuming so I have to push myself to work on things. I think if I can stick with it I can really get some satisfaction from it, I also have to potential to make some money and thats always nice.

Working out has been a constant goal and I have worked out 5 days a week for an entire month straight. I haven't noticed much change in my size and shape but I am getting stronger and less pudgy. I have also been eating very clean and lo carb but god dammit I love me some carbs. That challenge has been the hardest for me and I can say its going mediocre at best. I have to learn to just say NO to carbs!!! I still don't mych like working out and Reid says one day I'll just want to work out but that day has not yet come.

I've been missing Arizona so hard. I realize more and more that most of the people that care about me are so far away. I makes days off a bit lonely. I also don't want to grow apart from people just because they're so far away but how is it not natural to lead different lives that develop separately instead of together.

Work has been frustrating as well. I need to learn that no matter how much I care for my profession others will not feel the same no matter how frustrated I get. I need to just do my job, get my money, and go the fuck home. I need some advice one 'caring less' so if anyone knows the trick let me know!

Here are some photos coming out of the woodwork from SDCC:





These were stolen from Alicee's blog whom I met at the con. She is so gorgeous in person as well as super cool. I thought the chick next to me with the giant gun was way hot so I had to get right next to her. Too bad I'm too shy to say something. I always hate how I feel I miss opportunities because I've lost most of my self-confidence. I know recognizing it is the first step to changing it, its just the next step I'm hung up on.

Here are a couple portraits dylanborgman took:





From frankieacuna72:



I'm a tard... Anyway, I missed so many girls at the con but with the massive crowd that was there it does not surprise me.

SG featured my comment in their wrap up for Comic Con: SDCC Wrap Up

Thanks for the messages from the folks I met at the con, its really awesome to stay in touch with people you meet! I promise I'll respond to your messages too and also send prints to those who are waiting for them.

I know things will get better for me if I can just keep working at my goals. Every step I've been making is in the 'general' right direction. Thanks for all the kind words you've shared these past months.

Till next time SG!