Holla SG world, your missing SG has returned! The craziest things have happened to me since my last entry! I was kidnapped by a sideshow freak and a breatharian and forced to be an Islamic woman! I was whisked away almost a month ago and just got back to Chicago a few days ago!
I never expected a 4 day trip to LA for the Probot music video shoot to last almost 3 weeks! The video shoot was great, Dave Grohl looks and acts exactly like my friend Rusty Nails, it's cArazy! It was fun meeting all the pretty ladies, there were so many of them! I can't wait to see the video, although I had about a 1/2 hour of sleep and a wicked hangover cuz I'm stupid and partied all night before the 12 hour shoot...oops hee hee
. I met a spectacular girl named Linz and we had a blast in my dirty little hotel room. It was good to see Katie and Siren again and Ryan is a cutie. Amina is just as beautiful in real life as on the site. It was nice to finally meet Missy also, although she was far to busy for me to really have a chance to talk to, next time.
Anywho, the day after the Probot I was kidnapped! About two hours before getting on a bus and heading back to Chicago I ran into my friend the Torture King and he grabbed me by the arm, threw me in the back of a small car that was being driven by a breatharian and took me to San Francisco! I was human cargo tossed in the back amongst his bed of nails, razor sharp swords, fire eating equipment and other various sideshow props. I was so scared of getting in an accident, there would've been a million pieces of me all over the road, boy would I have fucked up the apolstry! The first night we spent summoning Janis Joplin's ghost. The night before we left for SF we stayed at the infamous Highland Gardens Hotel, a couple doors down from the room where poor Janis ODed, in room #105. The they threw me in with the cargo and we stayed in Santa Cruz, taking the haunted highway from LA, looking for UFOs. No luck, probably should've looked for ghosts on the haunted highway instead of UFOs... What can I say, I was high. We stayed with a fine gentleman Erik Dakota in Santa Cruz. He owns a body jewelry manufacturing company, LotusBody Jewelry , so if you need jewelry for those holes check it out. The next night on to San Fran where the Torture King and the breatharian (who also happens to be a suspension artist and sideshow performer) aka Masichisto were to perform at Paul Nathan's venue (will edit when I find out name). I also got to see my lovely and talented foxy friend Joni, which made me soo happy! I don't get to SF much and we had discussed how it sucked that I'd be in LA but couldn't get to SF. Surprise! We got all kinds of fucked up and hung out all night. The Torture King's show was great, any SF peeps: he's there every 2nd Wednesday and it's a killer show. We went by a Bondage club and drank even more and who do I run into? The beautiful Thora dancing at the club! Crazy crazy!
So the morning after the show I see Joni one last time to say goodbye and she gave me some tasty presents for the road. This is when the Torture King and the Breatharian turn me into an Islamic woman for a night. The Torture King is into Sufism, which is Islamic mysticism, and that night was one of the most holy nights of Ramadan, the night of power. On this night it is said that Mohammed comes down and will grant your desires. Well Torch decided it would be cool for me to come and participate, I don't think he knew that I am pretty much an atheist and hate all forms of organized religion. I'm also unsure if he knew how hungover and high I was at the time. The Breatharian wasn't a Sufist either. This all made it that much more bizarre. So we go to Napa, CA to spend this holy night with Torch's guru. I was so nervous about the whole thing. I didn't know how to act or what to say. He said that women dress conservatively and to just wear the most low key thing I had. The most "normal" thing I had to wear was a Freddy Krueger sweater and dirty black pants. I was expecting a temple or something, but we pulled in front of a large house that turned out to be a "compound". When I walked in I was surprised to find the house filled with new age type white people, I expected a bunch or Arabs but there were a few Turks, namely the guru's family. It was a weird scene, they made me shower right away and the woman had a seperate bathroom than the men. They told me that I could change clothes if I wanted, I didn't and when I walked out of the shower all the women looked like they were in shock. "Weren't you going to put on new clothes?" an elderly woman asked me in a shocked voice. Uh, these are the only clothes I have. The woman just shook her head. The Sufis then fed me and it was like a weird christmas dinner. All the Sufis kept looking at me like I was crazy and asking weird questions and the Breatharian refused all food and talked at length about his "food optional lifestyle", which seemed to offend or at the very least irritate the Sufis. After dinner we went into this office type room with swords everywhere and the guru guy talked about Allah. All the women were so submissive and I think I was supposed to sit behind the men, but I didn't...ooops. I was also in there with my head uncovered, I guess that's really disrespectful.
The word around the compound was that this guru dude is really famous throughout the world and is supposed to be some spiritual heavyweight. At one point his son was playing with a sword and the guru told him to stab him in the chest and that he died we would know that he is a fake because he's supposed to be immortal... Funny. The whole night I kept going back to that comment in my mind, wishing that the son had stabed him. The son said,' I do not have it in me father.' Stupid kid.
Anyway, after this lecture reminicent of a sermon we were taked to an ajoining room. This is when it really got weird, well besides for the fact that I had been kidnapped by a guy named the Torture King and a Breatharian after going to LA to be in a music video for Dave Grohl's metal band in which Lemmy was the vocalist with 60 of the sexiest internet models in the world and ending up at the Sufi's celebration of the Night of Power completely blown out of my mind and hungover... I guess that's pretty weird all by itself. But the weirdest part of the Tetsua plays Islamic girl night was when the ceremony began.
I never expected a 4 day trip to LA for the Probot music video shoot to last almost 3 weeks! The video shoot was great, Dave Grohl looks and acts exactly like my friend Rusty Nails, it's cArazy! It was fun meeting all the pretty ladies, there were so many of them! I can't wait to see the video, although I had about a 1/2 hour of sleep and a wicked hangover cuz I'm stupid and partied all night before the 12 hour shoot...oops hee hee
. I met a spectacular girl named Linz and we had a blast in my dirty little hotel room. It was good to see Katie and Siren again and Ryan is a cutie. Amina is just as beautiful in real life as on the site. It was nice to finally meet Missy also, although she was far to busy for me to really have a chance to talk to, next time.
Anywho, the day after the Probot I was kidnapped! About two hours before getting on a bus and heading back to Chicago I ran into my friend the Torture King and he grabbed me by the arm, threw me in the back of a small car that was being driven by a breatharian and took me to San Francisco! I was human cargo tossed in the back amongst his bed of nails, razor sharp swords, fire eating equipment and other various sideshow props. I was so scared of getting in an accident, there would've been a million pieces of me all over the road, boy would I have fucked up the apolstry! The first night we spent summoning Janis Joplin's ghost. The night before we left for SF we stayed at the infamous Highland Gardens Hotel, a couple doors down from the room where poor Janis ODed, in room #105. The they threw me in with the cargo and we stayed in Santa Cruz, taking the haunted highway from LA, looking for UFOs. No luck, probably should've looked for ghosts on the haunted highway instead of UFOs... What can I say, I was high. We stayed with a fine gentleman Erik Dakota in Santa Cruz. He owns a body jewelry manufacturing company, LotusBody Jewelry , so if you need jewelry for those holes check it out. The next night on to San Fran where the Torture King and the breatharian (who also happens to be a suspension artist and sideshow performer) aka Masichisto were to perform at Paul Nathan's venue (will edit when I find out name). I also got to see my lovely and talented foxy friend Joni, which made me soo happy! I don't get to SF much and we had discussed how it sucked that I'd be in LA but couldn't get to SF. Surprise! We got all kinds of fucked up and hung out all night. The Torture King's show was great, any SF peeps: he's there every 2nd Wednesday and it's a killer show. We went by a Bondage club and drank even more and who do I run into? The beautiful Thora dancing at the club! Crazy crazy!
So the morning after the show I see Joni one last time to say goodbye and she gave me some tasty presents for the road. This is when the Torture King and the Breatharian turn me into an Islamic woman for a night. The Torture King is into Sufism, which is Islamic mysticism, and that night was one of the most holy nights of Ramadan, the night of power. On this night it is said that Mohammed comes down and will grant your desires. Well Torch decided it would be cool for me to come and participate, I don't think he knew that I am pretty much an atheist and hate all forms of organized religion. I'm also unsure if he knew how hungover and high I was at the time. The Breatharian wasn't a Sufist either. This all made it that much more bizarre. So we go to Napa, CA to spend this holy night with Torch's guru. I was so nervous about the whole thing. I didn't know how to act or what to say. He said that women dress conservatively and to just wear the most low key thing I had. The most "normal" thing I had to wear was a Freddy Krueger sweater and dirty black pants. I was expecting a temple or something, but we pulled in front of a large house that turned out to be a "compound". When I walked in I was surprised to find the house filled with new age type white people, I expected a bunch or Arabs but there were a few Turks, namely the guru's family. It was a weird scene, they made me shower right away and the woman had a seperate bathroom than the men. They told me that I could change clothes if I wanted, I didn't and when I walked out of the shower all the women looked like they were in shock. "Weren't you going to put on new clothes?" an elderly woman asked me in a shocked voice. Uh, these are the only clothes I have. The woman just shook her head. The Sufis then fed me and it was like a weird christmas dinner. All the Sufis kept looking at me like I was crazy and asking weird questions and the Breatharian refused all food and talked at length about his "food optional lifestyle", which seemed to offend or at the very least irritate the Sufis. After dinner we went into this office type room with swords everywhere and the guru guy talked about Allah. All the women were so submissive and I think I was supposed to sit behind the men, but I didn't...ooops. I was also in there with my head uncovered, I guess that's really disrespectful.
The word around the compound was that this guru dude is really famous throughout the world and is supposed to be some spiritual heavyweight. At one point his son was playing with a sword and the guru told him to stab him in the chest and that he died we would know that he is a fake because he's supposed to be immortal... Funny. The whole night I kept going back to that comment in my mind, wishing that the son had stabed him. The son said,' I do not have it in me father.' Stupid kid.
Anyway, after this lecture reminicent of a sermon we were taked to an ajoining room. This is when it really got weird, well besides for the fact that I had been kidnapped by a guy named the Torture King and a Breatharian after going to LA to be in a music video for Dave Grohl's metal band in which Lemmy was the vocalist with 60 of the sexiest internet models in the world and ending up at the Sufi's celebration of the Night of Power completely blown out of my mind and hungover... I guess that's pretty weird all by itself. But the weirdest part of the Tetsua plays Islamic girl night was when the ceremony began.
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That is quite the adventure though....I wanna know about the ceremony! TELL TELL!