tessaruby

just a random rant...
Current mood: embarrassed


its been awhile since one of these.... hehe ... blogs? arent they great? jk


You know whats great? I really love braiden.. I cant believe hes stuck it with me for this long.. I know im really down on my self.. But come on im honest. Im surprised I get any good feedback from anyone sometimes.. I mean he doesnt treat me like he used to.. thats for sure.. But either way hes been great regardless

Im really getting sick of people worrying about my weight though to many people have a lot lately.. I realize how truly big I am Im starting to each day youd think Id know more than anyone else.. But I dont it cam out of no where it seems like..

Im so upset.. With my self I cant believe how disturbing this can be to not only my self.. But others? its because I let go of my medication a year ago and Im paying for it each day its horrible

I feel like a lower form of worth.. Like people think im gullible or easy to walk all over.. Im just getting sick of it.. I know this sounds ridiculously dramatically emo. But.. eh..

Im extremely self cautious lately.. I mean you would be too if youve gotten the endless sarcasm I have been lately,, I know its all in fun and games.. But im beginning to be more sensitive to that shit..


I dont know .. I mean my point is Im worried enough as it is.. I dont need people I care about poking fun or getting concerned

Anyways other then my obesity ..

My job is fair Im getting a raise were breaking records sounds kind of lame but its a big deal in a fun sorta way..


I dont want to rant about all that is pathetic to you.. But,,,
Yeah I had a nervous break down at work I was stressed to the max with personal problems and I let my anxiety take over.. And had a bullshit panic attack. Do you know what that is? Its when people get scared and lose control of how they partake of things .. It was crazy I just shut down I feel sorry for people who have these all the time it sucks


Dont get me wrong. Everything is cool.. I just snapp sometimes its something im working on

Im really looking forward to this summer lots of camping lots of partys maybe some traveling its gonna be great