Because that's the romantic ideal in our society, isn't it? A love so strong that one person just couldn't possibly bear to exist without the other? The idea that there's just this intense need for the other person.
How much greater is desire, and choice, than... Read More
I know exactly what you mean. I had grown to need my husband over the years. Depend on him being happy in order for me to be happy. And when he mentioned divorce in a serious argument one day... I seriously considered suicide. I thought I would be broken emotionaly without him.
But i talked to my friend about it and he pointed out that needing him is really not healthy. I thought a lot about all he said that day and I relized.. needing him makes me weak. It is a charactor flaw that I no longer wish to have. So now I don't do it anymore. I can accept that he's not always going to be happy, and I'm ok with that. I can still feel as intense about him without being dependant on him. We had another similar argument a month later and I felt so proud of the way I handeled myself. I feel like a stronger person now. We talked a lot, I told him how I really felt, and I didn't fall apart. One person should not be capable of distroying your whole world like that. I feel better. And we haven't arguged for a while, things are flowing a bit smoother.
Been reading a book on the history of secularism in America, and it kind of got me thinking about the prevailing attitudes around the time of the revolutionary war. People were busy discussing science and politics and reason and in general being very critical of the... Read More
My normally sunny disposition has given way to melancholy and angst.
Maybe just burnout. Job stress never goes away when you leave the office . . . it clings like sticky tar to the inside of your skull--an infection you can't wash off.
Feel like a Thanksgiving Turkey that was forgotten about and left in the oven an extra day. Blackened, dried out, and empty.... Read More
That, my friend, is a very depressing blog. Yet poetic.
Cheer up. Winter is not so bad. I wait for this season all year. Not because of the holidays or anything, actualy I sort of dread that, but the temperature makes me happy. It's hard to live in Texas when you hate the heat.
I'm actually feeling a lot better now. These major depressive episodes kind of come out of nowhere at times . . . luckily this one only lasted about 4 days. They're difficult to avoid completely, but I've gotten a lot better at learning how to keep their durations at a minimum. Hey, I guess you can't enjoy good times without something to contrast them with.
I actually do like the winter. More than I used to, anyway. But the short days sometimes do funny things to the brain, and that's what I was worried about. Still, the snow has been awfully pretty. And I've got a much better vantage point to watch it than in times past.
So, 2 years ago, my supercoolbitchin Mongoose bicycle that I'd had for about 12 years gets stolen, along with my truck. The cops find the truck ditched on a side street, but no bicycle.
So I go without one for almost 2 years, and then I finally feel like I'm making enough money that I can splurge on a... Read More
Sorry to hear about your bike, man. Where the hell do you live that people are cuttin' locks for Target bikes?
On another topic altogether, it's cool that you like Rush. I never run into anybody who'll fess up to liking them. I was just listening to Fly By Night this week...
I'm in Boulder, but it looks like bike theft is pretty common around here since everybody rides and there are a lot of nice bikes. My guess is that since it was new and looked nice, they mistook mine for something that was actually worth money, so if that's the case, then the joke will probably be on them.
I've been listening to Rush since I was about 12, and I saw them in concert for the second time just this year. Very good show . . . I think they have to be seen live to be fully appreciated.
Here's a question: what does love have to do with fidelity?
Maybe I've just been immersed in alternative lifestyles for too long. Maybe I've just been corrupted by the "evil secular influence of modern society." Maybe I'm just a fucking lunatic who can no longer relate to what's normal becasue I've become too detached from reality by spending so many hours lost... Read More
I agree with you on many points, but being female I can see why your ex felt the way she did. I can also see your side where you want the other person to be happy and thought that was exactly what you were doing. Women are odd creatures and I think that we have some unspoken rules that get men into trouble. We want them to read our minds and act a certain way occasionally without ever stating that to them. For me, it was (and still is) a difficult thought process to break. I work on it everyday.
My thoughts in general: In a swinging relationship, there are still rules. If you don't know where you stand with your partner, it's never going to work. Swinging takes trust, caring and understanding mixed with a little perversion (according to society). I wouldn't run willy-nilly into a swingers club with a somewhat new relationship on your back without knowing what the boundaries are or where you stand in the relationship - am I a placeholder until something better comes along, or am I your girl with rights and veto power. I've been the both a placeholder and the woman with veto power (in two separate relationships)...I can tell you swinging is easier when you know your place.
Absolutely. And I don't mean to say that everybody should be a swinger and run out and have crazy kinky sex with a dozen people every night . . . it just seems like we've become so obsessed with repressing our natural desires that we only bring ourselves constant pain by expecting perfect faithfulness at all times. It's natural to want to connect either emotionally or physically with more than one person . . . it's sort of too bad that the very thought of it has to bee so bloody painful to most people. It seems . . . I suppose the best way to put it is "biologically dishonest."
And I'm all for establishing rules and boundaries that are agreed upon by both people. We certainly had those when I was in my relationship. I just felt a little betrayed that the boundaries and rules she came up with wound up being used as ammunition against me simply because I agreed to them and didn't fight with her against what she herself wanted to do.
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- Iran's parliament on Wednesday voted in favor of a bill that could lead to the death penalty for persons convicted of working in the production of pornographic movies.
With a 148-5 vote in favor and four abstentions, lawmakers present at the Wednesday session of the 290-seat parliament approved that "producers of pornographic works and main elements in their... Read More
Memories and bygone scars
make us who we are
the swill you spilled at age of six
made you afraid to take that risk
choosing to stay in today
your greatest chances pass away
that younger you controlling from afar.
