terrakotta

On candystripe legs, spiderman comes
softly through the shadow of the evening sun
stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
looking for the victim shivering in bed
searching out fear in the gathering gloom
and suddenly! a movement in the corner of the room!
and there is nothing I can do when I realize with fright
that the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight
-The Cure, Lullaby

Is it no small coincidence that the black-hearted insurance companies have gone full steam ahead on whipping out the television advertising? It seems that every time I flip on the tube, there is some smiling jerk explaining how caring their company will be in my hour of need. subliminal message: invest in a plan now or be fucked and end up in the Superdome, fighting for drinking water Like a teddy bear and cup of coffee is going to make everything alright if I lose everything I own as well as a few family members. One silver lining in my newest annoyance is an anecdote a good friend of mine told me recently. For the longest time, she thought the spokesperson on the Allstate commercial (aka the voodoo-practicing ballplayer in Major League) who says, Thats Allstates stand. Are you in good hands? was actually saying, Thats Allstate, STAN! And she kept asking herself, Who the hell is this Stan guy? Hahaha! Now of course thats all I can think about when he pops on my screen.

Newest food crazes in the TK kitchen: Vanilla Mini-Wheats cereal and Campbells Soup-at-hand, Tomato (not together, mind you).

Mmm mmmm addictive

I went to that sex toy party I told you I was invited to; it was all women and pretty good fun. I spent over a $100 on my order, because I obviously plan to be either a hooker or a shut-in for the next few months. Later on in the night I met my friend John at a place called La Dolce Notte for his send-off party; hes leaving for Canterbury, England on Monday. Id never been to this bar before; it shares a building with a posh restaurant, and as soon as I walked in, I thought, its the house that Bret Easton Ellis built! Patrick Bateman would have been a regular if only it had been around during the yuppie 80s. I had a quick shot and somehow ended up with the glass still in my hand when I walked out the door. Its now in my sink, but I dont feel guilty since the drink was a little pricey anyway.

Yes, now I am rationalizing theft. Next Ill be voting Republican.
Ooops isnt that the same thing?

Oh, and I lost hot water AGAIN this morning. I chewed out the landlord on the phone at 5:30 in the morning, and he took the day off from work to meet with some guy who was supposed to look at it. At 4:00 he was still waiting, and complained to me that he took the day off from work and waited all day for nothing. I was thinking, yeah? I taught exceptionally critical children all day with bedhead. Go fuck yourself. If I had wanted to channel Laura Ingalls Wilder, I would have rented an apartment with an outhouse and a hand-cranking water pump in the middle of South Dakota. Should I be scoping out rocks to beat my laundry on next?

Tomorrow night (well, I guess, tonight, really.) I will be visiting my grandmother for dinner, then its back to that local dive bar that I went to last weekend. The girls have decided its the new watering hole. I dont really mind, since its close enough to my apartment that I can feasibly walk home if I drink too much.

Mmmm bedtime. I put those t-shirt cotton sheets on my bed and now am so excited to cuddle up in them I may not even brush my teeth. No, who am I kidding? Waking up the middle of the night with a film of stale alcohol on my tongue? Too disgusting to imagine. When Im on my death bed, be sure to pop a Tic-Tac between my lips; consider it my final rites.