So yeah. Long time no talk, eh? I know, I know, I am a bad friend. I'll see about writing more, even when I have shit all to say. Especially when I have shit all to say, as that is pretty much all the time. So, in the absence of any real content, let me tell you a story. This particular story is something I am reminded of, sitting here waiting for a phone call that was supposed to come two and a half hours ago and is never going to. Kind of sucked at the time and still kind of does, but there is humour in it. The ability to laugh at one's own misfortune is an important one.
The event in question takes place about two years ago. It was late, I was kind of bored, and speaking to an old female friend of mine on the phone. We probably would have dated at some point but never did, despite a mutual attraction to one another, as I was unavailable when I met her, and when I became single she was not. By the time she was also single, we were already friends and figured we may as well keep it that way. I wondered, sometimes, what it would have been like if we'd made a different decision. As it turned out, so did she.
We started, as often we did, randomly flirting with one another. She and I could, and still can, have entire conversations consisting of nothing but innuendo and double entendre. After a while, she commented that having been single for the last six months, she felt somewhat sexually deprived. Being both male and romantically retarded, I missed the sign, made the safer assumption that it was further idle flirting, and kept on as we were. She sounded somewhat annoyed, as she does when I do something dumb, repeated herself, and I got the hint. The opportunity was not to be missed. Arrangements were made. As both of us were residing with our respective families at the time, who were home that night, we could not exactly go to one of our houses. It was late at night and fairly warm though, and she knew of a field that would work. I left post haste to pick her up, stopping along the way to purchase condoms, as the last ones I had reason to buy expired some time prior.
We arrived. It had been two years since last I had known the touch of a woman. I was ready. She was willing. I was excited at the prospect of finally realizing the expected happy ending of a long mutual attraction, and so was she. We spent a moment groping at one another in the truck before stepping out.
I locked the fucking keys in my truck.
Unsurprisingly, it kind of killed her mood.
The condoms are still in my wallet, long expired, and I became probably the only man in the world capable of going out for the sole purpose of getting laid and still managing to strike out. The walk home to get my keys and then back to where I'd parked was the longest and most humiliating of my life.
Call it angst if you want, but sometimes I think the experience quite neatly encapsulates my entire existence.
yrs,
tensix
The event in question takes place about two years ago. It was late, I was kind of bored, and speaking to an old female friend of mine on the phone. We probably would have dated at some point but never did, despite a mutual attraction to one another, as I was unavailable when I met her, and when I became single she was not. By the time she was also single, we were already friends and figured we may as well keep it that way. I wondered, sometimes, what it would have been like if we'd made a different decision. As it turned out, so did she.
We started, as often we did, randomly flirting with one another. She and I could, and still can, have entire conversations consisting of nothing but innuendo and double entendre. After a while, she commented that having been single for the last six months, she felt somewhat sexually deprived. Being both male and romantically retarded, I missed the sign, made the safer assumption that it was further idle flirting, and kept on as we were. She sounded somewhat annoyed, as she does when I do something dumb, repeated herself, and I got the hint. The opportunity was not to be missed. Arrangements were made. As both of us were residing with our respective families at the time, who were home that night, we could not exactly go to one of our houses. It was late at night and fairly warm though, and she knew of a field that would work. I left post haste to pick her up, stopping along the way to purchase condoms, as the last ones I had reason to buy expired some time prior.
We arrived. It had been two years since last I had known the touch of a woman. I was ready. She was willing. I was excited at the prospect of finally realizing the expected happy ending of a long mutual attraction, and so was she. We spent a moment groping at one another in the truck before stepping out.
I locked the fucking keys in my truck.
Unsurprisingly, it kind of killed her mood.
The condoms are still in my wallet, long expired, and I became probably the only man in the world capable of going out for the sole purpose of getting laid and still managing to strike out. The walk home to get my keys and then back to where I'd parked was the longest and most humiliating of my life.
Call it angst if you want, but sometimes I think the experience quite neatly encapsulates my entire existence.
yrs,
tensix