tenpercentme

Unshaven old men. Piles of dirty snow.

People pass. Vaguely familiar.

How can I hate anything else

without hating myself

first?

The snow is blown off the roofs.

Chevrolets.

White men.

A common language.

the illusion of distance
or rather
all distance is perceived
or rather
distance is determined by the mind
or yet again
our distant minds, our intimate bodies
and what else?
hmmm
Don't we enjoy the distance?
I was waiting for more insights on the power of the mind
I am working on mine
the power of your mind?
mine in addition to all of ours...
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Yes, drunk.

Visits to the doctor, eating stuff that is not shit, keeping up with all my bills - this is the tough shit for me. Its hard to be cool and/or creative and do all that responsible stuff. I like the idea of being responsible AND being irresponsible. I want to be both.

Responsible in matters of labor.

Irresponsible in matters of love.

And vice versa....
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When I get hurt, I go up here. In my head. I know so many people who stay with their hurt, and so many others who do exactly what I do... think whatever thoughts they can to soothe the wound. Take on a perspective that explains why this hurt is happening. But it doesn't change the hurt. It just means you don't live there.

I...
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I use labels to help myself make transitions. I become curious about mystics, or poets, or revolutionaries, or free thinkers, or filmmakers...

and then I study them...

and then later, I look back, and wonder what I learned.

I don't know how to play any instruments. I have nothing. My voice has no interesting timbre. I have a good brain. Decent writing skils, though I don't really consider myself a writer because I only write when I feel it. The idea of BEING a writer to me implies some discipline, and that means writing even when you don't want to, and being good...
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How come I don't care anymore?

It is nice to ocassionally be reminded of why there are more important things than appointments and personal projects.

Unstable planes landing in small out of the way airports is guaranteed to refocus you on why life is really valuable.