Torture.
To edit a movie.
To hate a movie.
To hate myself for making a movie that is so far away from what I want it to be that, for a moment, it seems like nothing. For just a moment, it seems like days upon days wasted. And I select all and delete everything, just to see how it feels. I couldn't feel anything. It was just an empty timeline. The world was no worse. I was no better. And vice versa. I hit the Undo button, and there it was again. Every single mother fucking clip. Just like it was when I hit those two buttons a few moments earlier. Except I didn't hate it so much. I just felt like I wanted to wrap it up. Like a Christmas present to myself, and move on.
B.
To edit a movie.
To hate a movie.
To hate myself for making a movie that is so far away from what I want it to be that, for a moment, it seems like nothing. For just a moment, it seems like days upon days wasted. And I select all and delete everything, just to see how it feels. I couldn't feel anything. It was just an empty timeline. The world was no worse. I was no better. And vice versa. I hit the Undo button, and there it was again. Every single mother fucking clip. Just like it was when I hit those two buttons a few moments earlier. Except I didn't hate it so much. I just felt like I wanted to wrap it up. Like a Christmas present to myself, and move on.
B.