tenisha

So Iv loved and lost, Iv been in love, and have been hurt. I have delt with the pain of broken heart one after the other, and I still deal with it day after day. For some reason it never seems like anything is gonna get better! But you cant just sit around and wait for the chance to hopefully one day things will be better. You have to make that happen. Leave the past behind you and move on in life. Sure sometimes things suck and you wish you can just forget thos memorys were never even there. But at some point in time you honestly can never say you regret the things you have done in your life, because at one point you wanted it bad enough for it to become a chapter in your book. I know I say things I dont mean like regreting things because I did want it in my life at the point and time and it just makes me stronger and learn more about life.
You have to go from what you'v learned in the past and make your self stronger. Sure sometimes it really sucks to make things better but in the end its worth finding the person who will know what they have when they have you. Or just finding something that always can make you happy, no matter what kind of day you are having. Life has so much instore for everyone on the earth, some people take it for granted some live it up, and some live it up to much. I guess in the end as long as people are happy for the rest of their lifes then its all worth doing what you did regaurdless the choices people make. Im not the most perfict girl on this planet but I have lived an ok life so far. Part of me wonders why I didnt do more things when I was younger, I took a lot of shit for granted and I wish I never would of. Life has so much to give us, all you have to do is go out and find it. Find what makes your truely happy, and just GO GET IT! I dont like living in the past thats why I am going to make ends meet, and love my life. You only have one and one body. Everyone should cherish what they have on this earth. Thats what I am going to start to do. I am so young and still have so much to see! I am just ready to be happy, and not let anything get in the way of that. I dont want to be hating people or have people hate me. Shit happens tho, but I am ready to make ends meet with the people I dont like and end a friendship or just whatever in a nice way. Being rude doesnt get anybody anywhere, kindness kills when you are kind to thos you normaly wouldnt be nice to.
Im ready to let go of my hate, my sadness, pain, guilt, and ,my suffering. Im ready to try something new. To be happy and try everything once! I want to travel the world, and discover things, make historical markings, and just do something great with my life! I want to write a song that actually makes since haha. I want to play my guitar like I am a pro and sing along to songs like After Tonight by Justin Nozuka or More Time by needtobreath hahaha. I want to camp on a far away mountin other than where I live. I want to see as many beaches as I can before I die. I want to learn how to surfboard!!! I want to meet Gerard Butler(hottiest guy ever) I want to sing songs on the cali beach with my 5 bestfriends and just sit and life with no worries at all. I want to have people look up to me one day and share the great things that I want to share. Someday I just want to grow old with someone who will always make me smile and love me unconditionally tell the day we die! I would return the love to them.I want to become the best journalist that anyone has ever met,(well at lest one of the best haha)I want to make the world a better place, help people who honestly need things more then I do. I want to be around when they find a cure for breast cancer, and just cancer in general, (and not into creepy ppl like , AM legend, That movie is creepy haha but kinda cool I guess, I just dont want that to happen hahaah. ) I want to catch fireflys in a jar and look at them for a few seconds and the just let them go, while im listening to some of my fave songs like Wonderfull Tonight by Eric Clapton, and Stigmatized by The Calling songs like that (haha I know I know im a sucka) I want to be riding horses through a forest with the snow falling just right no cold wind its just right, with a friend or someone who might be a husband or a friend or a boyfriend. Just with someone special in my life.
There is so much I want to do with my life the list can go on and on forever. I guess what I am really saying is Life is WAY TO SHORT!!! So live it up, if your not happy then your not living life! There is more to this life then feeling depressed or sad all the time. Yes everyone feels depression but there is more to life. So go out there and find what makes you happy, it may take a day it may take weeks, months or even years. It just may take your whole life to figure it out, but when you find it, you have plenty of momories in the past to look back on and you will always remember what you were looking for.And think I finaly found what has made me happy. To me thats worth everything!:-D Good luck to all, have a great new year and find out what makes you happy in life!!!
Cheers,
Tenisha