Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

tempestuous

Haven't found it yet

Member Since 2003

Followers 26 Following 16

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Aug 29, 2004

Aug 29, 2004
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
So I finally started packing tonight for the move. I guess I've been pretending that it isn't really going to happen. It's so strange going through the house and figuring out item by item what I get and what my husband gets. I was looking through things in the attic and came across this box of towels that I got as a wedding present -- they're monogrammed with my initials from my maiden name. How ironic that I'll be using them now.

I feel really guilty seeing all the things we got as wedding presents, like I should give everything back. But, I did make it five years -- a helluva lot longer than my brother who got divorced within the first year.

My parents are giving me a hard time about this whole thing -- I told them over six months ago that as soon as I got a job, I'd be moving out. When I called my father last week to let him know that I'd found a place to live he got mad at me, saying that I should have given him warning, that he felt like I'd "spilled a bucket of cold water over his head". Such melodrama.

P. and I drive them crazy because we're getting along better now than we have in years, probably. My father tells me that he finds this all very confusing. Yeah, well, welcome to the club. P. is my best friend. I mean, that's why I married him. We had good intentions, but friendship isn't necessarily enough to make a marriage work. My mother tells me that I don't realize how lucky I am -- that I'm married to a man who doesn't beat me up or cheat on me -- "he comes home to you at night," she says, like this is some miracle. Yee fucking haw.

I'm meeting someone new this week. That makes me sound psychic doesn't it? Actually, I met this girl online months and months ago, and I'd sort of stopped emailing her, but she called last week and now we're meeting in person for the first time. The problem is this: when we first "met" online I wasn't smoking, and now I am. And she has this really rare disease where her lungs are all stiff and icky, and she can't be around smoke. Sigh. I've gotten into this really strange habit of smoking for a couple months, then stopping for a couple, and then starting again. So when I meet people who are all anti-smoking when I'm not smoking I make sure to say that I'm a non-smoker. And then when I start smoking again I feel like a liar. L. gets on my case a lot about the smoking -- a tad bit hypocritical when she keeps a pack under her bed for after sex. She doesn't understand much about my self-destructive behavior, which is a bit of an issue because then there's a lot of myself that I can't share with her. But on the other hand, it's nice to have someone so emotionally, um, pure, or balanced, or whatever in my life. I've made an effort to meet people who can relate to those darker things, but all I seem to find is psychos. I mean, there's good psycho and there's bad psycho.

Stabbing pain in eye . . . will finish later.
sansseraph:
the ability to revel in the darker parts of your self is an easy thing to find in people... the ability to revel in your own shadow with out becomeing unbalanced is alot more uncommon.
it's like when your depressed to the point where it takes on a self rightous life of it's own and you find yourself sitting in the dark listening to sappy music with a beer and a smoke but feeling stragely good about it,
it's the difference between feeling ALL your emotions to their fullest but maintaining yourself, or letting them rule over you and loseing yourself
aw well i babble

good luck lady
Aug 30, 2004
recordandplay:
odd that you're going through a divorce and you added me to your friends today...
I just spent the weekend at Jeremy's *the guy who is my good friend and sex partner but not a romantic option* and shit sort of hit the fan. It's not over - but I don't know where we're at and it hurts.
Reading your entry was good though - the timing worked well. I am off to bed for now. Things will be better in a few weeks. I fucking hate it when shit hits the fan - but it's always the same and time always heals.
Aug 30, 2004

More Blogs

  • 05.08.05
    5

    Sunday May 08, 2005

    Why is it that I only update my journal when I have a stomach bug? D…
  • 03.08.05
    4

    Tuesday Mar 08, 2005

    I'm off to London tomorrow! Added bonus -- I'm taking a highly conta…
  • 03.04.05
    1

    Friday Mar 04, 2005

    Ani Difranco and Melissa Ferrick -- AWESOME shows!! Cleveland, um, r…
  • 02.13.05
    3

    Sunday Feb 13, 2005

    What did the painter name his son? Art. Sorry, popsicle stick h…
  • 01.29.05
    1

    Saturday Jan 29, 2005

    Have you ever gone out to dinner with someone who just had gastric by…
  • 01.20.05
    2

    Thursday Jan 20, 2005

    Oy yoy yoy, it's been a long time. I even forgot how to update my jo…
  • 11.21.04
    10

    Sunday Nov 21, 2004

    Leave me, unholy, dirty and beautiful.
  • 10.16.04
    6

    Saturday Oct 16, 2004

    The days of punishment are coming, the days of reckoning are at han…
  • 10.01.04
    8

    Friday Oct 01, 2004

    I've returned! Less lonely, but still somewhat at a loss for words. …
  • 09.19.04
    6

    Sunday Sep 19, 2004

    Lonely, and at a loss for words . . .

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
27
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,117,733 followers
  • 14,933,073 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,423,823 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo