An e-mail Monday and a phone call early this evening to Gayla went unanswered. My paranoia suddenly struck back again full force. I (un)wisely decided to counter this by watching a severly depressing movie.
It didnt matter anyway. My mind kept drifting. Thinking of Gayla made me think of Laurel, as they remind me of each other in so many ways. They look similar, they talk similar, but more significantly, but they both seem to hide unhappiness from other people in fear of exposing their emotional vulnerability.
I decided to call Laurel. She didnt answer. This didnt surprise me, since my phone calls to her in the past nine months had also gone unreturned. I didnt bother leaving a voice mail, but to my surprise, she called me back an hour later. We talked for a bit. I asked how she was doing, since I worry about how she deals with all the drama in her life. (Her father dying. Being kidnapped and raped by a convict. Her step father dying. Her dog being killed.)
So it turns out that she had gotten pregnant back in July and then lost the baby. Earlier this month she got pregnant again and lost that baby as well. As if that wasnt enough, her best friend was killed in a motorcycle accident last week.
Her voice sounded so much deeper. Its as if the young, bubbly Laurel I knew at 18 had been replaced by this numb woman beaten down by the drama of life. She said she would have to call me back. She promised this time that she actually would.
I hung up the phone and immediately heard Gaylas ringtone (Hello, Its Me by Todd Rundgren). Suddenly I felt happier. She asked me how I was doing.
I dont know, I sighed. I told her about Laurel's miscarriages and how concerned I was for her.
Oh, was her only response.
So how are you?
Not so good.
Whats wrong?
Well, maybe I shouldnt get into it.
No, what?
I cant see you anymore.
It didnt matter anyway. My mind kept drifting. Thinking of Gayla made me think of Laurel, as they remind me of each other in so many ways. They look similar, they talk similar, but more significantly, but they both seem to hide unhappiness from other people in fear of exposing their emotional vulnerability.
I decided to call Laurel. She didnt answer. This didnt surprise me, since my phone calls to her in the past nine months had also gone unreturned. I didnt bother leaving a voice mail, but to my surprise, she called me back an hour later. We talked for a bit. I asked how she was doing, since I worry about how she deals with all the drama in her life. (Her father dying. Being kidnapped and raped by a convict. Her step father dying. Her dog being killed.)
So it turns out that she had gotten pregnant back in July and then lost the baby. Earlier this month she got pregnant again and lost that baby as well. As if that wasnt enough, her best friend was killed in a motorcycle accident last week.
Her voice sounded so much deeper. Its as if the young, bubbly Laurel I knew at 18 had been replaced by this numb woman beaten down by the drama of life. She said she would have to call me back. She promised this time that she actually would.
I hung up the phone and immediately heard Gaylas ringtone (Hello, Its Me by Todd Rundgren). Suddenly I felt happier. She asked me how I was doing.
I dont know, I sighed. I told her about Laurel's miscarriages and how concerned I was for her.
Oh, was her only response.
So how are you?
Not so good.
Whats wrong?
Well, maybe I shouldnt get into it.
No, what?
I cant see you anymore.