Saturday Oct 25, 2003

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I saw KMFDM last night!! It was fanastic! They totally rocked.

I got a little too drunk and didn't find love but I live in Wisconsin and there aren't any girls that I've met here that are worth a damn anyway.

I love having gained weight. Made the pit much more fun.

Friday Oct 24, 2003

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I haven't cried in over a year. In that time I've been through so much pain and heartache over women and work and the future and how I see myself. I still can't cry.

Ever.

Even when I am confronted by the most stark reminder of my pain's source, I still can't crack a tear.

I see her every week. I think about her every...
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Tuesday Oct 21, 2003

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Shitty day. My ex-girlfriend was in all day and it forced me to remember the capacity for love I used to have and that she helped me destroy.

I'm so numb and disconnected from anything. I just wish she wouldn't come around anymore.
spikybluegirl:
My ex-gf is about the only one who can make me cry anymore. Sometimes I talk to her specifically because I can't cry. Heh.

Sunday Oct 19, 2003

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Hi! I'm back and will be for a while because I've decided to use this as my honest-to-god journal.

My life is rather devoid of meaning and completely empty as far as any type of emotional attachment goes. I feel completely separate from other human beings and its somewhat disturbing.

I've been dedicating myself to music right now and I'm forming a 'band' although it...
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Tuesday Sep 30, 2003

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I've been crazy sick for the last two weeks and I guess its just as well because I'm intensely unhappy and really just want to fall into a coma if possible.

The best part is that I think pneumonia is setting in. I fucking hate that shit.

Saturday Sep 13, 2003

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I actually may have a DATE TONIGHT! I know... I can't believe it either. She's awfully cool too. I've been keeping busy with mundane things but life is looking good still.

I still mourn the loss of my last girl. But she is gone.

I hope everyone else is having a good weekend. I'll put more on this date situation as it developes.

Wednesday Sep 03, 2003

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Life is truly amazing. I've learned more about myself and everyone I've known in the last few weeks than in years before combined. I've been lost for so long and I can finally see the way through.

Spring always follows Winter, no matter how harsh.
burn:
aw thanks for the sweet words. you're such a dahl.

kiss

Monday Aug 25, 2003

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My life has not changed. I have made some new friends and I'm feeling much more independent and self-reliant(emotionally/confidence) than ever before. I definitely am beginning to love my life.

Also, working out is definitely starting to show. I've gained 8 pounds this month and can now run 2 miles easily. I'm pretty sure that will be a wonderful boon in the sack. Now I...
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london:
thank you :o)

Sunday Aug 24, 2003

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I'm finally conquering the concept that I need to be dating. Its a rough habit to break but I'm definitely reaching the point where I don't believe there is a girl I WANT to date around me right now. Maybe not one at all. I need to be ok with that before I can move on in life.

I currently don't believe in "True Love"...
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Thursday Aug 21, 2003

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What the fuck? My heart is shattered into eleventy million pieces again and I've basically reached the vow of chastity state.

Where do you go to meet people?
pitpat:
There are a lot of cool people wandering around on this site. If you post on the boards or join groups and post you'll meet plenty of people.
I also play x-box live where I have meet tons of people... its nice because you can talk to everyone in real time... but you need to like video games.
As far as meeting real people... thats tough. My crowd of friends when I was younger stayed pretty static. I decided that I didn't want my life to stay static too... so I really cut down on the time I hung out with them. A little while later I moved and didn't know anyone. Now I know a few "real" people, but I interact with enough cool people electronically to keep me sane.
[I know "real" people from work and stuff... but I fucking hate them]

***edited for piss poor spelling***
[Edited on Aug 21, 2003]

[Edited on Aug 21, 2003]
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