tegan

good... evening? 7pm is evening right?

those of you who have absolutely no intrest in my stressful week can just bypass this entire paragraph or two because it is nothing other than me bitching about it. i've worked 87 hours in the past 2 weeks with 3 days off... on one hand, im quite proud of this because i didn't pass out or fall over like i thought i was going to. on the other hand, i never want to fucking do it again. my body so exausted its doing strange things to me. i've lost my appetite so im eating pekishly like a bird, my skin is dry (whereas its normally somewhat greasy), my hair is limp, my back is bothering me, im getting sharp pains in my sides, my memory is clouded and i have the attention span of a 2 year old. these 2 weeks of hell are not yet over. tomorrow morning i have to get up at 10am so that i can go and do a shoot with Jean then i get to go home and do laundry all damn day. tuesday night i have to work again... oh woe's me.

wasn't supposed to work today, yet i did. as much as i love the darling lovely carlita, she is probably one of the most manipulative women i've ever met. she can probably make me do anything by just talking to me... why wasn't i blessed with the gift of manipulation? is it that im not manipulative or myself... or do i have the weakness that guys have for women when they want something?? why am i such a goddamn sucker? im thinking about 13 hours of sleep in 4 days is not so good, right?

anyway, even though i have to get up early tomorrow and do laundry im sure the day off will be lovely.

-end bitching-

tonight is carlita's stagette... im kind of afraid of male strip clubs. i've never been to one and from what i gather in the movies... the bitches are crazy up in there yo. i do NOT want some dude that calls himself 'brown sugar' or 'white chocolate' rubbing his cockring held hard penis in my face... thanks but NO. im kind of excited in one way because i think its going to be funny as shit but im definetly keeping my little personal bubble of me space well guarded.

my fingers are fucking freezing.

where is my benni? where is she? if you see her, tell her that i miss her dearly and im waiting a phone call from the princess. the lady is mine. thinking of mine...

im in one hell of a mood today. im whiney, im jealous, im feeling needy, i need a massage and someone to tickle my back. i need someone to bring me coffee while i laze around on a couch watching reality t.v. maybe make me dinner if i regain my appetite at all by the end of the night... i want kisses on my forehead and arms wrapped around me. im a big fucking suck today and i dont want to wait for all these things... i want them NOW. damnit.

WOW, anyway.

i have to find my friend chris a good spoon. i told him that with all the money i make i'd buy him a spoon. he really wants a suit so he can look 'pretty' but i told him he'd have to settle for a spoon. does canada have pottery barns? bet i could find a good spoon at one of those places.

im at an internet cafe because im a nerd.

i have to get my visa to send me the bill with the digital camera i bought on it so i can send it in to insurance claims. once again, DAMN YOU WHOEVER STOLE MY CAMERA.

i have to go shower and 'prep' for the strip club tonight... the MALE strip club... wierd.

xo.
t.

falling deeper and deeper into the trap that is mine.

good things happen on the 28th of february.

p.s where the fuck is willem?!