Firstly: did one of y'all around here mention something about almond butter recently? This might sound like a weird query but I don't know dude, something spooky is at hand...
I have cramps and I want to go to sleep. But first I should talk about myself for a spell I think.
I found out my copy of On The Road that I received as a gift is actually a first edition and is worth somewhere in the neighborhood of 4K. Holy crap. Sell it or keep it? I don't want to look like an ingrate... it was a gift, after all, but dude, 4K is like a three-month trip to Hawaii.
I've realized that maybe I actually have serious serious feelings for my boy. Wow. What a confession. We've been together in some manner of speaking for 6 months-- noncommitally. A few times one of us initiated the "what's going on with us" conversation but each time I totally balked, yes, even when I was the one to bring up the subject to begin with. Why is this a problem? Because I might move in with him in a few weeks. This is because I don't have anything to do, really, or anywhere to go over the summer, and staying in the area and continuing to work sounds like a good plan, and one that gives me enough leeway to dick around and have free time to travel while still having a place to stash all my shit-- i.e. his house. Frankly I'm not interested in getting my own place for the above-mentioned reasons, plus I don't own any furniture, it would just be a hassle. And I also might get this internship in St. Pete like 3 blocks from where he lives. So it makes sense...
...And yet, I'm a little terrified. I'm going to get my heart broken. I'm going to do something awful. I think I might really want to be with him (whoa, heavy stuff for ToTH) but I cannot handle the idea of not being with Shayle again. And somehow saying, "I am falling for you really hard and I want to be with you" and "I don't want to end my incredibly fulfilling relationship with this beautiful girl" in the same breath isn't really the kind of, um, game plan that, ah, scores the proverbial touchdown (don't even think of laughing at my stupid metaphors at a time like this).
Furthermore, as I previously mentioned, I haven't put my best face forward in this relationship, and he tends to see me at my worst-- that is, at school. I'm much better at work, all beautiful and confident and sexed-up ;-), or when I'm, I don't know, fucking hitchhiking across the country dirty and unshaven and ferocious. The whole school atmosphere doesn't enable me to play up my awesomeness sufficiently. Maybe I should take him kayaking. Or scuba diving. I fucking rock at that.
(Scuba diving. It has been waaaaay to long. should go take a refresher course. God knows I can afford it. I just have to find the time.)
And Shayle's in Europe and I totally love her.
I'm going to go read my awesome book now (not my expensive Kerouac volume, god knows I haven't touched it since I had it appraised, I'm worried that I'll fingerprint the dust jacket and send it all to hell), but Ishiguro's new one "Never Let Me Go" if you're into coming of age stories that involve clones and organ harvesting, this one's for you. Goodnight.
I have cramps and I want to go to sleep. But first I should talk about myself for a spell I think.
I found out my copy of On The Road that I received as a gift is actually a first edition and is worth somewhere in the neighborhood of 4K. Holy crap. Sell it or keep it? I don't want to look like an ingrate... it was a gift, after all, but dude, 4K is like a three-month trip to Hawaii.
I've realized that maybe I actually have serious serious feelings for my boy. Wow. What a confession. We've been together in some manner of speaking for 6 months-- noncommitally. A few times one of us initiated the "what's going on with us" conversation but each time I totally balked, yes, even when I was the one to bring up the subject to begin with. Why is this a problem? Because I might move in with him in a few weeks. This is because I don't have anything to do, really, or anywhere to go over the summer, and staying in the area and continuing to work sounds like a good plan, and one that gives me enough leeway to dick around and have free time to travel while still having a place to stash all my shit-- i.e. his house. Frankly I'm not interested in getting my own place for the above-mentioned reasons, plus I don't own any furniture, it would just be a hassle. And I also might get this internship in St. Pete like 3 blocks from where he lives. So it makes sense...
...And yet, I'm a little terrified. I'm going to get my heart broken. I'm going to do something awful. I think I might really want to be with him (whoa, heavy stuff for ToTH) but I cannot handle the idea of not being with Shayle again. And somehow saying, "I am falling for you really hard and I want to be with you" and "I don't want to end my incredibly fulfilling relationship with this beautiful girl" in the same breath isn't really the kind of, um, game plan that, ah, scores the proverbial touchdown (don't even think of laughing at my stupid metaphors at a time like this).
Furthermore, as I previously mentioned, I haven't put my best face forward in this relationship, and he tends to see me at my worst-- that is, at school. I'm much better at work, all beautiful and confident and sexed-up ;-), or when I'm, I don't know, fucking hitchhiking across the country dirty and unshaven and ferocious. The whole school atmosphere doesn't enable me to play up my awesomeness sufficiently. Maybe I should take him kayaking. Or scuba diving. I fucking rock at that.
(Scuba diving. It has been waaaaay to long. should go take a refresher course. God knows I can afford it. I just have to find the time.)
And Shayle's in Europe and I totally love her.
I'm going to go read my awesome book now (not my expensive Kerouac volume, god knows I haven't touched it since I had it appraised, I'm worried that I'll fingerprint the dust jacket and send it all to hell), but Ishiguro's new one "Never Let Me Go" if you're into coming of age stories that involve clones and organ harvesting, this one's for you. Goodnight.
cstar:
If you save it and not sell it now it will be worth more...assuming the world doesn't collapse. it's like my dad's old woodstock tickets. they become more valuable the longer they sit in his old wallet. You'll have to figure out your relationships. It doesn't seem like you know what you want. When you do, go get it. If a guy digs you, it doesn't matter what environment he sees you in.