I haven't gotten laid in what feels like forever. It actually hasn't been that long but nothing is ever as appealing as the prospect of sex when I'm frustrated and bored and I feel like I haven't moved or breathed or like, lived, rough and viscerally, for so so long. It's because I'm writing another paper. Here's my thesis sentence, don't plagiarize, I'm sharing it with you because it's brilliant.
"Therefore, as she is herself suicidal throughout the novel, her intimations of self-destruction color her interactions to such an extent that she becomes synonymous with morbidity to both the reader and the other characters."
If I finish all my homework this weekend then a) I pass my classes and b) I get to fuck off next week and see Shayle before she leaves for Europe, and my boy who I won't have seen in 2 weeks. I miss him too when he's not around but in a different way than I've been missing Shayle. On one hand, I've considered myself to be pretty straight (sexually speaking) until recently, and my relationship with him predates my thing with Shayle. That is, he and I have awesome sex. On the other hand, I don't think we have so much of a connection. He's extremely attractive and devastatingly smart and openminded and excellent but not very emotionally accessible and certainly not into doing spontaneously sweet and adventurous things like Shayle is. At least not around me. I also find him intimidating, I don't know if that's how he's choosing to present himself or if that's how I'm choosing to react. It prevents me from being completely at ease and hilarious and awesome around him though. Which is lame.
I'm not trying to compare the boy that I'm involved with to the girl that I'm involved with. It only sounds that way. Is it unfair of me to want everything?
"Therefore, as she is herself suicidal throughout the novel, her intimations of self-destruction color her interactions to such an extent that she becomes synonymous with morbidity to both the reader and the other characters."
If I finish all my homework this weekend then a) I pass my classes and b) I get to fuck off next week and see Shayle before she leaves for Europe, and my boy who I won't have seen in 2 weeks. I miss him too when he's not around but in a different way than I've been missing Shayle. On one hand, I've considered myself to be pretty straight (sexually speaking) until recently, and my relationship with him predates my thing with Shayle. That is, he and I have awesome sex. On the other hand, I don't think we have so much of a connection. He's extremely attractive and devastatingly smart and openminded and excellent but not very emotionally accessible and certainly not into doing spontaneously sweet and adventurous things like Shayle is. At least not around me. I also find him intimidating, I don't know if that's how he's choosing to present himself or if that's how I'm choosing to react. It prevents me from being completely at ease and hilarious and awesome around him though. Which is lame.
I'm not trying to compare the boy that I'm involved with to the girl that I'm involved with. It only sounds that way. Is it unfair of me to want everything?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cstar:
Yeah, comparisons seem reasonable, and everyone makes them. Since it appears like you've got both the girl and the boy, well spaced it seems, you're well on your way towards having it "all". I don't see anything wrong with wanting it all. Though being dissapointed about not having all is silly. Being openminded and compassionate yourself seems to always lead me in the direction I want to go. Honestly the way you describe this guy is pretty cool. In alot of ways, I think I would be flattered, if I was that guy, and read that. However, I urge you to be as awesome as possible in all contexts. Nice sentence for your thesis. And in regards to my journal.....the Man doth oppress and colors my interactions till they depress and annoy.
gixxer1300156949:
That cool that someone wrote a poem about you.....I did get a few letters telling me how much of an asshole I can be which in retrospect is kinda the same thing without the happy ending.