teen_lobotomy

So I think that I can feel my heart breaking again. It seems like such a silly phrase but if it ever happens or ever has happened to you then you know that it really does feel like your heart is breaking. It hurts. Your chest tightens. It feels like a piece of it is really gone. Why is my heart breaking, you ask? Something that I said I was fine with is to blame. And I was fine with it. Until tonight. Lately I've been noticeing things that seem to say that I'm forgotten. That I'm not as important as I used to be. That no matter what happened, I'm not the favorite anymore. I don't matter as much. What makes it harder is going from completely needed and depended on, to facing who they found that was better in just a couple of days. It doesn't make me feel any better, either, knowing that I'm going to be talked down about by her new friends that are making themselves her new company. And even if I have anything to say about that person in an attempt to be helpful, you can forget it. Because I'm obviously jealous and am attacking them in my anger. I'm not angry. Just hurt. Hurt that I might be losing a friend. Scratch that, two. Hurt that no matter what plans were made or what was said, it's all going to be forgotten. Hurt that I can't have someone right now to make me feel better about all of this. I feel cold and alone. And my heart hurts.