good story, true story.
friday night/saturday morning i passed four to six kidney stones in my bathroom around 10-11pm. i had already taken my prescribed dosage of vicadin and valium for the day, and i really didn't know what to do about the pain. which was so overwhelming i actually began to fear for my life. so, i drank every drop of booze in the house ; 1/4 bottle of gin, six beers and about half a bottle of wine. which somewhat eased the pain. this took me about two hours, and i thought i might be able to cope. however, around 2am, i began to pass another one or two stones and decided i had to drive to the hospital. i'm not proud of this decision, but i honestly have no recollection of making it. i have no insurance, i couldn't reach any friends, and a taxi was going to take an hour.
guess what happened on the way to the hospital? i got pulled over and arrested for dui. however, the officer had mercy on me, and instead of taking me to jail, he booked me and had an ambulance take me directly to the hospital. at the sub-station i blew a .15 bac, which is mercifully .01 below what new mexico considers an 'aggravated dui'. i really have no memory of what happened at the hospital, but when i woke up around 6am, i was being dragged out of the building by security guards and literally thrown out into the parking lot. at which point they informed me i would be arrested if i didn't immediately leave the premises. so, since i had no wallet, phone, glasses or any personal stuff, i had to walk home. it was more like hobbling about 1.5-2 miles and it took me about two hours.
apparently, although i was booked at the police sub-station, there is no record of my arrest. my lawyer theorizes that the arresting officer is taking pity on me, and letting the statue of limitations run out on posting the arrest. which is something like three weeks. i have a temporary license, since mine was kept by the officer along with my sterling silver and turquoise money clip. my phone, glasses and wallet were all in my truck when i went to get it at the wrecker yard, but the wrecking company apparently bent my passenger side rims and damaged the passenger side tires when impounding the truck. there is an argument that i did this while driving to the hospital, and i have no recourse in this matter outside of a civil law suit. meanwhile, everyone has their fingers crossed that the arresting officer will let the period of time pass during which he is required to process the arrest. it's really the strangest scenario i've ever experienced, and anyone who knows me well, knows my life is filled with unorthodox oddities to the brim.
so, i'm thinking maybe the officer kept the money clip as a little gift, and might have mercy on me. which would make the fact that i lost my job over the kidney stone fiasco a lot easier to swallow. meanwhile, i'm posted up at my house with my pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs, just trying to handle the waves of pain when they come. i'm a pretty tough guy, but this pain is inexplicable to someone who has never experienced it before. every woman i have talked to that has given birth and had kidney stones says the stones hurt much worse.
so, yeah. everyone else go out and have a fun, dynamic active holiday season for me and post it on your blog so i can do some vicarious living through you guys. it would be much appreciated. pictures, too.
happy holidays, kgb.
friday night/saturday morning i passed four to six kidney stones in my bathroom around 10-11pm. i had already taken my prescribed dosage of vicadin and valium for the day, and i really didn't know what to do about the pain. which was so overwhelming i actually began to fear for my life. so, i drank every drop of booze in the house ; 1/4 bottle of gin, six beers and about half a bottle of wine. which somewhat eased the pain. this took me about two hours, and i thought i might be able to cope. however, around 2am, i began to pass another one or two stones and decided i had to drive to the hospital. i'm not proud of this decision, but i honestly have no recollection of making it. i have no insurance, i couldn't reach any friends, and a taxi was going to take an hour.
guess what happened on the way to the hospital? i got pulled over and arrested for dui. however, the officer had mercy on me, and instead of taking me to jail, he booked me and had an ambulance take me directly to the hospital. at the sub-station i blew a .15 bac, which is mercifully .01 below what new mexico considers an 'aggravated dui'. i really have no memory of what happened at the hospital, but when i woke up around 6am, i was being dragged out of the building by security guards and literally thrown out into the parking lot. at which point they informed me i would be arrested if i didn't immediately leave the premises. so, since i had no wallet, phone, glasses or any personal stuff, i had to walk home. it was more like hobbling about 1.5-2 miles and it took me about two hours.
apparently, although i was booked at the police sub-station, there is no record of my arrest. my lawyer theorizes that the arresting officer is taking pity on me, and letting the statue of limitations run out on posting the arrest. which is something like three weeks. i have a temporary license, since mine was kept by the officer along with my sterling silver and turquoise money clip. my phone, glasses and wallet were all in my truck when i went to get it at the wrecker yard, but the wrecking company apparently bent my passenger side rims and damaged the passenger side tires when impounding the truck. there is an argument that i did this while driving to the hospital, and i have no recourse in this matter outside of a civil law suit. meanwhile, everyone has their fingers crossed that the arresting officer will let the period of time pass during which he is required to process the arrest. it's really the strangest scenario i've ever experienced, and anyone who knows me well, knows my life is filled with unorthodox oddities to the brim.
so, i'm thinking maybe the officer kept the money clip as a little gift, and might have mercy on me. which would make the fact that i lost my job over the kidney stone fiasco a lot easier to swallow. meanwhile, i'm posted up at my house with my pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs, just trying to handle the waves of pain when they come. i'm a pretty tough guy, but this pain is inexplicable to someone who has never experienced it before. every woman i have talked to that has given birth and had kidney stones says the stones hurt much worse.
so, yeah. everyone else go out and have a fun, dynamic active holiday season for me and post it on your blog so i can do some vicarious living through you guys. it would be much appreciated. pictures, too.
happy holidays, kgb.
I'd like to add mouth pain to the short list of things that are unbearably painful.