ted_stryker

Well, nothing new or exciting is going on, but I thought it was time to post something new. I have a sneaky suspicion it will mostly be about my wonderful MrsTed_Stryker. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it will be!

I'm still so surprised that a woman as wonderful as she is loves me, much less wants to be my wife, sometimes I have a hard time wrapping my head around that. It's just so strange to think that just a few short months ago I was almost a whits end. I felt like I was at the bottom of a deep dark pit, with slimy unscaleable walls. No matter how hard I dug in my nails in and tried to climb out i sank right back down to the dirty stinking tepid water that was my existence. Being here again was harder than I thought it would be, too many old memories dredged up from the past, too many familiar feelings that I would sooner forget. I was alone and surrounded by the memories of those whom I loved and lost the last time I was here, I was haunted by my best friend Buck who I love and will never see again while I am on this earth. I wanted to see him again, I wanted so badly to go to where he is. There was always one thought in the back of my mind, past the darkness in a place where happiness and joy once lived. It was the memory of a woman I had met a few years back, a wonderful sweet funny and beautiful woman that made me feel so good if not for just one night. I couldn't leave her, I couldn't go to Buck without knowing if I could love this woman, or more hopefully maybe she will love me. I told Buck that it wasn't yet my time, I had to go and make a woman my Queen and he told me that he was happy for me. Thank you Buck.

Sometimes it's harder to be happy than sad, when your happy there is always the thought in the back of your head that this could end and I could plummet back into that dark cavern of despair. But if I'm sad there is no place to go but up. But I don't feel that potential downfall anymore. With MrsTed_Stryker by my side I feel nothing but utter happiness and joy. I'm not expecting to get the rug pulled out from underneath me like I have so many times before. I am now more certain of my true happiness now than I ever have been before. Life is truly worth looking forward too and it's all thanks to the love of my life, my sweet and beautiful and compassionate Kitten! Thank you, my Love. My life is now yours!!