tecumseh1981

That is basically how I can sum up the way I have been feeling lately. Jennifer is single again and she is playing with my head again. I guess I am at fault for instant messenging her. However she replied and we had a nice little conversation. She left her boyfriend because he was emotionally abusive (her words not mine). I dont understand why she didnt return my messages the next day. It annoys the hell out of me.

I guess I am still in love with her somewhat. I have not denied it and with the way life is going in general I have a strong need for some sort of support right now. I imagine she does. However I just wish she would give me a fair shot. All of the guys she ends up in relationships with are abusive to her and unwilling to listen to her. Keith called her names and always put her down. She said he had quite the temper and would throw things. The newer ex Jeff was trying to cheat on her not to long ago. Placing sex-wanted ads on websites with his own pictures.

It seems that all of the times when she is alone she will talk to me but when she is with someone I get pushed aside. And I let it happen which is the worst part. I dont know how I feel except I want to see her. I havent seen her in 2 years. I really miss her and it only gets worse knowing that she is single. I will have to give her some time and space. I do feel like a vulture but at the same time I have to admit I feel like an addict when it comes to her.

As it stands my plans are to just try and forget about it. I am just going to keep working and then go back to school and work towards my degree. I want to get in shape as well. That is my goal for the new year. It is also going to be my New Years resolution. I figure if I can quit smoking cold turkey I can do the same with exercise. I was at almost 2 packs a day for a long time. I just quit after I said I would. It was hard but I did it once.

I have to admit I cheated and had a cigar back in August but that was it. They were cheap cigars and I did not even finish the first quarter of it. I ended up throwing it away. And I still get cravings for a smoke every now and then.

I decided the quote I used above, from "Casablanca", was appropriate. She just popped back onto the radar all of a sudden and it throws my whole world out of whack. I rented "Casablanca" because I have never seen it and I really enjoy it. I feel that it is an excellent film and I enjoy the characters. Something about those old films makes me smile.

I will probably be picking it up and picking up The Maltese Falcon as well. I just picked up "World Trade Center". It was a movie that made me cry. I feel so pathetic and in awe of the men. It truly is a film that inspired me simply because I cannot imagine the kind of pain that those men endured. It also reinforces my desire to become a police officer very much. If you have not seen it please rent it.

I also purchased "King of New York" and I love it. I think it may possibly be the greatest gangster film ever made. The characters are believable and the action is great. It is brutal and violent which is always a plus. Christopher Walken puts on a hell of a show along with Lawrence Fishburne and Wesley Snipes.

This picture is actually a scene from the movie with Ronald McDonald and the Burger King added in.



If you have not seen this movie I suggest you do. It was only $7.50 at my local Walmart where I bought it. And it was worth every penny.

As of right now I want to move to ISU badly. In January I am getting $2500 from them and in March I am supposed to get another $2500. This will allow me to buy the Sig 228 I have been wanting. However I dont know if I am going to. I need some good leather for my P2000 and P2000sk.

Anyways I will try to post more later.

Cheers.

Tecumseh