Well I have been working a lot lately. That is good news. I don't mind it so much I just need the money. It has been a pain in the ass living without any. I basically am a bus boy and now they are asking if I would be willing to do dishes. I am. It doesn't bother me as much as I pretend it does. Simply because it is honest work. I know when I go home tired from the bullshit and stinking like dishwater I earned what little money I made. There is a little nobility in it but nonetheless I could and would always be willing to do more for more money. I start dishes tomorrow (technically today but its still last night for me) or on Friday.
As for life my cousin is visiting us from El Paso. He is a cool kid, and quiet. He is also gay and I think that he thinks I am a crude belligerent person. I don't want to come off that way but I can understand why he would think so. He is very effeminate and seems uncomfortable around me. Either way I like him and he is family. He wore a bright blue scarf that looked like it fit the stereotypes I have of a gay man. At first I wanted to say something but then I realized it is wrong. I realized that he is comfortable wearing that and I have no place to tell him what he should and should not wear. I feel guilty as I thought that and I would like to be someone that does not judge and condone others. It is something I will have to work on. Either way I kept my mouth shut or we went out for a burrito at Chipotle. My sister came with us and we dropped her off at her boyfriends' house. Her car has been breaking down so we are going to have to share. It doesn't really bother me as much as I thought it would but it is an inconvenience. Anyways me and Jovanni (that's his name which is also very similar to mine) chilled out at Myopic Books and did a little shopping. We drove around the city and then headed home.
I got to know him a little better and I feel sorry for him. It seems that he has a hard time with life because he is gay. My mother told me that my grandma really disapproves of his lifestyle and him. I am ashamed of that fact. He is a real nice kid and seems to have a kind heart. I guess a lot of people give him shit out there in Texas. He told me that Chicago allows him to feel comfortable and be himself. I hope so because he is one person who should not have to suffer. I think he is a lot like me in that we both feel that going somewhere else is going to allow us to be happy. I place my hope in that going somewhere else where I perceive the people and the city to be a little more in line with my lifestyles and view as something that will solve my problems with depression, anger, sadness, loneliness, chapped lips and just all the bullshit that seems to be part of my everyday life. Who knows what will make me happy? I know I don't, but I have an idea or think I do.
As for Jenny, she is still with her boyfriend. They went out for sweetest day and now she is not even talking to me over AIM. I instant messaged her to say hello and she logs off. Fuck her. It seems that every time I have her remotely in my life she ends up hurting me and fucking my head up. It has been for the past few days. I think about her and I get sad because I miss having her in my world. She is just a picture and a name on a webpage now. I know that as soon as she is going through trouble again I will try to rescue her like I always do. I just get so confused when it comes to her. I am sure that soon again he will be looking at porn and posting on those dating sights. Its ironic because I type this blog on what she would consider a porn site. I mean she complains that he was not upfront about his porn viewing but that she is angry he put a sex wanted ad out. I can understand that. But if you knew her like I know her, you would think that she was cool with porn (no we never slept together). Either way she is a strange one. I am sure she will be looking for a friendly shoulder soon enough.
I also need to send the fucking papers for my expungement. Don't you love the fact you can commit crimes and for $60 they will take it off of your permanent record? These aren't traffic criems either. It is nice but I should be concerned. It makes you wonder who you are walking the streets with. My crimes were not so harmful to society but nonetheless they harmed some people. (Don't worry I never killed anyoneyet)
As for the rest of my life.
Well the good news is I am very sure that I was accepted into the University of Washington. They sent a paper saying to contact them about it. IT said I would be admitted to the evening degree program however another said I have to make up some of the core requirements before I can be admitted. I am going to call them tomorrow for clarification. However I am curious because they are willing to admit me into the evening degree program. If I can go I will, or am pretty sure I will. I have been thinking of going back to SIU for a semester and getting all the requiremnts (langugange class and a math class) out of the way so that I can transfer into the day program if I don't like what I hear tomorrow about their evening degree program. I would prefer evening classes personally as I am a night owl.
The website says it is the same degree as the day program but that there are only 5 majors. It is very strange because they are very broad. Here is a link to their evening degree majors. It seems that they are very broad and generalized. I am not so sure I like that. The letter also states that if I enter their evening degree program I would be unable to transfer to the day programs. I will have to get more information before I decide.
I was also accepted into Illinois State University and University of Nevada at Las Vegas. I am not as enthuastic about these as Washington is my first choice. I want to go to Washington for school but I don't know if they are offering me what I want in this degree program. I definitely need more information. I have a lot to think about.
Going back to SIU and seeing my girls would be cool. I miss hanging out with them. And to chill with Brandon again would be cool. It is also close enough for Nate to come visit which would be nice. I would also be able to complete my Spanish 2 class and my Math class there without having to send another fucking transcript. Plus I am sure I could bring my GPA up a little bit. Math and Spanish are classes I dread. I want more sociology and film classes. Any sort of writing and reading classes I will do better in.
Well I will call the University of Washington tomorrow and see what is up. Do not worry readers I will post more later.
Cheers.
As for life my cousin is visiting us from El Paso. He is a cool kid, and quiet. He is also gay and I think that he thinks I am a crude belligerent person. I don't want to come off that way but I can understand why he would think so. He is very effeminate and seems uncomfortable around me. Either way I like him and he is family. He wore a bright blue scarf that looked like it fit the stereotypes I have of a gay man. At first I wanted to say something but then I realized it is wrong. I realized that he is comfortable wearing that and I have no place to tell him what he should and should not wear. I feel guilty as I thought that and I would like to be someone that does not judge and condone others. It is something I will have to work on. Either way I kept my mouth shut or we went out for a burrito at Chipotle. My sister came with us and we dropped her off at her boyfriends' house. Her car has been breaking down so we are going to have to share. It doesn't really bother me as much as I thought it would but it is an inconvenience. Anyways me and Jovanni (that's his name which is also very similar to mine) chilled out at Myopic Books and did a little shopping. We drove around the city and then headed home.
I got to know him a little better and I feel sorry for him. It seems that he has a hard time with life because he is gay. My mother told me that my grandma really disapproves of his lifestyle and him. I am ashamed of that fact. He is a real nice kid and seems to have a kind heart. I guess a lot of people give him shit out there in Texas. He told me that Chicago allows him to feel comfortable and be himself. I hope so because he is one person who should not have to suffer. I think he is a lot like me in that we both feel that going somewhere else is going to allow us to be happy. I place my hope in that going somewhere else where I perceive the people and the city to be a little more in line with my lifestyles and view as something that will solve my problems with depression, anger, sadness, loneliness, chapped lips and just all the bullshit that seems to be part of my everyday life. Who knows what will make me happy? I know I don't, but I have an idea or think I do.
As for Jenny, she is still with her boyfriend. They went out for sweetest day and now she is not even talking to me over AIM. I instant messaged her to say hello and she logs off. Fuck her. It seems that every time I have her remotely in my life she ends up hurting me and fucking my head up. It has been for the past few days. I think about her and I get sad because I miss having her in my world. She is just a picture and a name on a webpage now. I know that as soon as she is going through trouble again I will try to rescue her like I always do. I just get so confused when it comes to her. I am sure that soon again he will be looking at porn and posting on those dating sights. Its ironic because I type this blog on what she would consider a porn site. I mean she complains that he was not upfront about his porn viewing but that she is angry he put a sex wanted ad out. I can understand that. But if you knew her like I know her, you would think that she was cool with porn (no we never slept together). Either way she is a strange one. I am sure she will be looking for a friendly shoulder soon enough.
I also need to send the fucking papers for my expungement. Don't you love the fact you can commit crimes and for $60 they will take it off of your permanent record? These aren't traffic criems either. It is nice but I should be concerned. It makes you wonder who you are walking the streets with. My crimes were not so harmful to society but nonetheless they harmed some people. (Don't worry I never killed anyoneyet)
As for the rest of my life.
Well the good news is I am very sure that I was accepted into the University of Washington. They sent a paper saying to contact them about it. IT said I would be admitted to the evening degree program however another said I have to make up some of the core requirements before I can be admitted. I am going to call them tomorrow for clarification. However I am curious because they are willing to admit me into the evening degree program. If I can go I will, or am pretty sure I will. I have been thinking of going back to SIU for a semester and getting all the requiremnts (langugange class and a math class) out of the way so that I can transfer into the day program if I don't like what I hear tomorrow about their evening degree program. I would prefer evening classes personally as I am a night owl.
The website says it is the same degree as the day program but that there are only 5 majors. It is very strange because they are very broad. Here is a link to their evening degree majors. It seems that they are very broad and generalized. I am not so sure I like that. The letter also states that if I enter their evening degree program I would be unable to transfer to the day programs. I will have to get more information before I decide.
I was also accepted into Illinois State University and University of Nevada at Las Vegas. I am not as enthuastic about these as Washington is my first choice. I want to go to Washington for school but I don't know if they are offering me what I want in this degree program. I definitely need more information. I have a lot to think about.
Going back to SIU and seeing my girls would be cool. I miss hanging out with them. And to chill with Brandon again would be cool. It is also close enough for Nate to come visit which would be nice. I would also be able to complete my Spanish 2 class and my Math class there without having to send another fucking transcript. Plus I am sure I could bring my GPA up a little bit. Math and Spanish are classes I dread. I want more sociology and film classes. Any sort of writing and reading classes I will do better in.
Well I will call the University of Washington tomorrow and see what is up. Do not worry readers I will post more later.
Cheers.
marvel:
Woo Hoo! Washington State rawks!
strongbhoy:
Congrats on the news about college.