My ideal world... (I recommend reading my previous posting)...
As it stands my world is far from ideal. I realize what my ideal world needs to become reality is an impossibility. But nonetheless it is nice to pretend that I am living in my own fantasy land.
I think my ideal world would right now would be something along the lines of a decent group of friends, a good college career right now, a nice apartment, a decent car, and a loving relationship with someone of the fairer sex.
My ideal group of friends would be people my age who are somewhat hip and like to chill at coffee shops. Not a Denny's or an IHOP but a real coffee shop. They would also be into gaming and politics. Good discussion is hard to find now adays and I really love to bullshit about the world with friends. They would sometimes be adventurous and just go on spontaneous roadtrips. Not far but just like a 2 hour drive in any random direction just to see what we see. They would be willing to just chill. We would cook out and just sit around having a few beers. Play some cards on occasion and be real grown up people. Sometimes we would go to museums or art shows or the movies and have a good time. We would go to festivals, have BBQs in the backyard or porch or whatever. Just do normal shit that people do when they get older.
My current friends are nothing like this. Brad is an apathetic loser. He is 25 and lives with his mother, has no car, and works at GFS part time (like me except for the job!!!). However he has no ambition and has never been laid. His only concern in life is his own comfort. He plays cards all day, watches tv, and eats. I hate going over there but I want to swim and he has an awesome pool. He is a loyal friend though. But I really want the best for him as he should get out and see the world. There are many possibilities for a smart guy like him but he is afraid to leave the nest. I just get so annoyed with him because he isnt doing anything with himself and talks about how he could but just doesnt care. He critizes my school choices and my chosen area of study, Sociology, while he himself has none of that. He says he is going to apply to ISU but I dont think he will. Just like how he lied to me about applying to UNLV.
Then there is Josh. A good friend at times and an old friend. He hates his fucking life. Of all my friends he is the most responsible and has the best heart though he will deny it. I really wish he would quit his job and sell that shitty little condo he lives in along with his BMW. He works harder than anyone else I know or call friend, save for my parents, and deserves to be happy. Instead he chooses to work a shitty factory job and give them his life. The man works 6 days a week and 12 hours aday during the normal work week. He wants to do art and study the classics but is terrified of ruining everything he has worked so hard for. He cannot meet a girl who wont use him for whatever and then dump him when someone better comes along. I try to tell him that college will be a breeze if he keeps his work ethic up and that he would be HAPPY there. I hate seeing someone I have known since 8th grade unhappy especially when he of all people deserves it. Of all the people in the world Josh deserves a lot more than he is given and I wish I could give it to him.
Sean and the kids. They are not really kids but they act like it. I am tired of spending time listen to them talk about the most pointless shit in the world. All of them are getting to old to keep fucking around and they dont care. They bitch about how the world is unfair to them, and some of them are justified, but they refuse to try and change it. School would be great but all of them are afraid of leaving home and dont understand how nice it is to have something of your own. One of them, Randy, talks about how he is not sure he wants a real job. He is 22 or 23 years old. Sad isnt it? I cant help but not understand how they made it this far. They say all kinds of racist bullshit and stupid shit all night. I went out to dinner with them and some were playing fucking gameboy there. One of them brought peanut butter and crackers to eat and ordered water. He didnt leave a tip either though he had the waitress refill his glass and he took up space. Nonetheless I am ashamed to be seen in public with them. They sit around all night drinking coffee and talking about how everything is bullshit, video games, black people, movies, and making stupid jokes about each other. Its like sitting at a table with half a dozen Jay's and Silent Bob's, fun for 20 minutes and then you want to leave.
Then their is John. I am going to take his exwife out for coffee later so that might explain a few things. I dont think he knows that I find her amazing. Sad to say I have known John since we were 5 and I went to his wedding. He is a good guy at heart but he cant stop fucking around. Still smoking weed, drinking, and flirting with little high school girls. This is after his wife left him a few months ago. But it was the same then except he wanst flirting. She left him because he didnt want to move out of his parents house. She wanted to get their own place and she was tired of his bullshit. He couldnt afford a house but he had money for weed everynight. She put thirty thousand dollars of her own money into their wedding and house. He bought a big screen tv. I think I realized how much I like her when I saw her crying a few years ago. They were living over by the 7/11 and she was upstairs crying. He was downstairs rolling on X and smoking weed with his friends. She was worried because she went to the doctor and the doctor said she may have some disease. She was also afraid of the drugs he was bringing into the house, her dad was a Chicago PD officer(retired) and told her that she could have thier house seized if they had any drugs in it. Needless to say when someone showed up with eighty tabs of X she freaked. And she went upstairs and I heard her crying when I was looking for the can. I dont talk to John much because he is the most spoiled person I have ever met and he does not understand how lucky he was to have a girl like that who cared that much about him.
Sonny, of all my friends I like hanging with him the most. He talks politics, goes to the movies, and is just a great guy all around. I really wish he would come up here from ISU more often. I feel close to him because he treats me as an equal and used to save my ass from getting whooped back in high school. I have nothing but good to say on him as he turned out far better than most people I know. He is honest, loyal, loving, and just plain awesome to be around. I miss him to death as he was one person I could count on for anything.
Mikey, is like the little brother I never had. He reminds me of myself. Dropped out of high school, working shitty jobs, a lonely guy, and a nice guy. He has always had a harder life then me and it shows once you get to know him. I really wish the best for him. I love him as a brother because he is one, not in blood but in spirit. He says he is down to go away with me wherever I go so if I can figure out away for him to come then it is on. I told him no matter what he is welcome to come with me and I meant it. Vegas, Seattle, Philly, NYC, or wherever I want him there. He deserves a lot more than life has given him and I think I should help him get it. One day he will be a movie director like he dreams about.
In my ideal world I would be in school and doing well. I would have a nice group of teachers who are willing to work with you if you show that you are dedicated. I would also be able to focus on my school work and a part time job somewhere in the school. The school would be nice and modern like the U of Washington campus. I would feel happy there and feel like the degree I was working towards would help me get a good job and a real life.
Not being in school sucks. I have nothing to do and am terrified I will fall into a rut like before. I want to continue on with my school work and get some shit finished. Time seems to be moving which is good.
An apartment would be nice if I had a cool roommate like Mikey. Basically our own rooms, internet, a decent kitchen, a bath, heat, and air conditioning. It would be near the college campus and we would be able to walk, it would be in a cool neighborhood, and there would be shit to do. In a cool college neighborhood is where I want to live. A nice view would also be a bonus but the neighborhood would be the real center of what I am looking for. Coffee shops where I could read, post a blog, and just have good conversation. Decent ethnic restaurants are always a plus as well as a park to walk around in. I also would like to be near a big body of water. I have only seen the ocean once and I really want to see it again. Lake Michigan is cool but I want a change as of right now.
As of right now I am at home. This drives me nuts as cant stand living with my family due to the fact they are crazy. My room is messy because my mom was sleeping in here and she just piled the shit in here. I hate it here and want to be on my own again.
A decent car to me is something like a Scion. Thats all I want. I want something fuel efficient as well. My only requirement is a CD player. Thats it. Everything else is fine as long as I have that. It should look nice... meaning the cops dont see me and automatically pull me over. Thats all I want out of a car.
Taking the heel-toe express sucks. So does borrowing someones car.
I want a girl who will get along with my family and friends. I want someone who likes to be romantic and spontaneous. Someone who truly appreciates me for who I am. She would compliment me as I compliment her. That is ideal to me. Someone who sees me as an equal. She would also make me smile. And she would be willing to put up with all the bullshit I cause. But most of all we would love one another and make each other happy. The world would feel complete when I am with her and she would feel that to.
I have an idea who the ideal woman for miss and I miss her very much. Her name is Jana and I did not tell her how I felt for many reasons but the truth is I dont know if she ever felt anything for me. I would give anything to be with her and she was pretty much the ideal woman in my eyes. In an ideal world she would be with me and life would be good.
Here is a picture of her...
The ideal world for me is far from reality. It seems that most of all I would have a base of friends and someone to love me. THats all I really want out of life. Friendship and to feel affection. Most people want those things and it really is shameful that life does not hand them out to everyone. I would love to have a chance to make a life with Jana. I am still hurting over Jenny but it seems that whenever I think of Jana I cannot rememer Jenny. These are the things that I long the most for, friends and a dream woman.
Well I will post later as I sleep and dream of Jana. Her smile always makes me happy. I will email her again with a letter I want her to translate for me. I plan to post more on why I dont think it could ever be between me and this woman.
As it stands my world is far from ideal. I realize what my ideal world needs to become reality is an impossibility. But nonetheless it is nice to pretend that I am living in my own fantasy land.
I think my ideal world would right now would be something along the lines of a decent group of friends, a good college career right now, a nice apartment, a decent car, and a loving relationship with someone of the fairer sex.
My ideal group of friends would be people my age who are somewhat hip and like to chill at coffee shops. Not a Denny's or an IHOP but a real coffee shop. They would also be into gaming and politics. Good discussion is hard to find now adays and I really love to bullshit about the world with friends. They would sometimes be adventurous and just go on spontaneous roadtrips. Not far but just like a 2 hour drive in any random direction just to see what we see. They would be willing to just chill. We would cook out and just sit around having a few beers. Play some cards on occasion and be real grown up people. Sometimes we would go to museums or art shows or the movies and have a good time. We would go to festivals, have BBQs in the backyard or porch or whatever. Just do normal shit that people do when they get older.
My current friends are nothing like this. Brad is an apathetic loser. He is 25 and lives with his mother, has no car, and works at GFS part time (like me except for the job!!!). However he has no ambition and has never been laid. His only concern in life is his own comfort. He plays cards all day, watches tv, and eats. I hate going over there but I want to swim and he has an awesome pool. He is a loyal friend though. But I really want the best for him as he should get out and see the world. There are many possibilities for a smart guy like him but he is afraid to leave the nest. I just get so annoyed with him because he isnt doing anything with himself and talks about how he could but just doesnt care. He critizes my school choices and my chosen area of study, Sociology, while he himself has none of that. He says he is going to apply to ISU but I dont think he will. Just like how he lied to me about applying to UNLV.
Then there is Josh. A good friend at times and an old friend. He hates his fucking life. Of all my friends he is the most responsible and has the best heart though he will deny it. I really wish he would quit his job and sell that shitty little condo he lives in along with his BMW. He works harder than anyone else I know or call friend, save for my parents, and deserves to be happy. Instead he chooses to work a shitty factory job and give them his life. The man works 6 days a week and 12 hours aday during the normal work week. He wants to do art and study the classics but is terrified of ruining everything he has worked so hard for. He cannot meet a girl who wont use him for whatever and then dump him when someone better comes along. I try to tell him that college will be a breeze if he keeps his work ethic up and that he would be HAPPY there. I hate seeing someone I have known since 8th grade unhappy especially when he of all people deserves it. Of all the people in the world Josh deserves a lot more than he is given and I wish I could give it to him.
Sean and the kids. They are not really kids but they act like it. I am tired of spending time listen to them talk about the most pointless shit in the world. All of them are getting to old to keep fucking around and they dont care. They bitch about how the world is unfair to them, and some of them are justified, but they refuse to try and change it. School would be great but all of them are afraid of leaving home and dont understand how nice it is to have something of your own. One of them, Randy, talks about how he is not sure he wants a real job. He is 22 or 23 years old. Sad isnt it? I cant help but not understand how they made it this far. They say all kinds of racist bullshit and stupid shit all night. I went out to dinner with them and some were playing fucking gameboy there. One of them brought peanut butter and crackers to eat and ordered water. He didnt leave a tip either though he had the waitress refill his glass and he took up space. Nonetheless I am ashamed to be seen in public with them. They sit around all night drinking coffee and talking about how everything is bullshit, video games, black people, movies, and making stupid jokes about each other. Its like sitting at a table with half a dozen Jay's and Silent Bob's, fun for 20 minutes and then you want to leave.
Then their is John. I am going to take his exwife out for coffee later so that might explain a few things. I dont think he knows that I find her amazing. Sad to say I have known John since we were 5 and I went to his wedding. He is a good guy at heart but he cant stop fucking around. Still smoking weed, drinking, and flirting with little high school girls. This is after his wife left him a few months ago. But it was the same then except he wanst flirting. She left him because he didnt want to move out of his parents house. She wanted to get their own place and she was tired of his bullshit. He couldnt afford a house but he had money for weed everynight. She put thirty thousand dollars of her own money into their wedding and house. He bought a big screen tv. I think I realized how much I like her when I saw her crying a few years ago. They were living over by the 7/11 and she was upstairs crying. He was downstairs rolling on X and smoking weed with his friends. She was worried because she went to the doctor and the doctor said she may have some disease. She was also afraid of the drugs he was bringing into the house, her dad was a Chicago PD officer(retired) and told her that she could have thier house seized if they had any drugs in it. Needless to say when someone showed up with eighty tabs of X she freaked. And she went upstairs and I heard her crying when I was looking for the can. I dont talk to John much because he is the most spoiled person I have ever met and he does not understand how lucky he was to have a girl like that who cared that much about him.
Sonny, of all my friends I like hanging with him the most. He talks politics, goes to the movies, and is just a great guy all around. I really wish he would come up here from ISU more often. I feel close to him because he treats me as an equal and used to save my ass from getting whooped back in high school. I have nothing but good to say on him as he turned out far better than most people I know. He is honest, loyal, loving, and just plain awesome to be around. I miss him to death as he was one person I could count on for anything.
Mikey, is like the little brother I never had. He reminds me of myself. Dropped out of high school, working shitty jobs, a lonely guy, and a nice guy. He has always had a harder life then me and it shows once you get to know him. I really wish the best for him. I love him as a brother because he is one, not in blood but in spirit. He says he is down to go away with me wherever I go so if I can figure out away for him to come then it is on. I told him no matter what he is welcome to come with me and I meant it. Vegas, Seattle, Philly, NYC, or wherever I want him there. He deserves a lot more than life has given him and I think I should help him get it. One day he will be a movie director like he dreams about.
In my ideal world I would be in school and doing well. I would have a nice group of teachers who are willing to work with you if you show that you are dedicated. I would also be able to focus on my school work and a part time job somewhere in the school. The school would be nice and modern like the U of Washington campus. I would feel happy there and feel like the degree I was working towards would help me get a good job and a real life.
Not being in school sucks. I have nothing to do and am terrified I will fall into a rut like before. I want to continue on with my school work and get some shit finished. Time seems to be moving which is good.
An apartment would be nice if I had a cool roommate like Mikey. Basically our own rooms, internet, a decent kitchen, a bath, heat, and air conditioning. It would be near the college campus and we would be able to walk, it would be in a cool neighborhood, and there would be shit to do. In a cool college neighborhood is where I want to live. A nice view would also be a bonus but the neighborhood would be the real center of what I am looking for. Coffee shops where I could read, post a blog, and just have good conversation. Decent ethnic restaurants are always a plus as well as a park to walk around in. I also would like to be near a big body of water. I have only seen the ocean once and I really want to see it again. Lake Michigan is cool but I want a change as of right now.
As of right now I am at home. This drives me nuts as cant stand living with my family due to the fact they are crazy. My room is messy because my mom was sleeping in here and she just piled the shit in here. I hate it here and want to be on my own again.
A decent car to me is something like a Scion. Thats all I want. I want something fuel efficient as well. My only requirement is a CD player. Thats it. Everything else is fine as long as I have that. It should look nice... meaning the cops dont see me and automatically pull me over. Thats all I want out of a car.
Taking the heel-toe express sucks. So does borrowing someones car.
I want a girl who will get along with my family and friends. I want someone who likes to be romantic and spontaneous. Someone who truly appreciates me for who I am. She would compliment me as I compliment her. That is ideal to me. Someone who sees me as an equal. She would also make me smile. And she would be willing to put up with all the bullshit I cause. But most of all we would love one another and make each other happy. The world would feel complete when I am with her and she would feel that to.
I have an idea who the ideal woman for miss and I miss her very much. Her name is Jana and I did not tell her how I felt for many reasons but the truth is I dont know if she ever felt anything for me. I would give anything to be with her and she was pretty much the ideal woman in my eyes. In an ideal world she would be with me and life would be good.
Here is a picture of her...
The ideal world for me is far from reality. It seems that most of all I would have a base of friends and someone to love me. THats all I really want out of life. Friendship and to feel affection. Most people want those things and it really is shameful that life does not hand them out to everyone. I would love to have a chance to make a life with Jana. I am still hurting over Jenny but it seems that whenever I think of Jana I cannot rememer Jenny. These are the things that I long the most for, friends and a dream woman.
Well I will post later as I sleep and dream of Jana. Her smile always makes me happy. I will email her again with a letter I want her to translate for me. I plan to post more on why I dont think it could ever be between me and this woman.