tecumseh1981

Well hello all. I know one person read my blog. That really makes me feel better. Thanks very much.

Today I got stood up by Dana. I still have this hope that it was an accident and that I had called the wrong number. I think this because the voicemail box was an automatic vocie that gives her number. I just am sick of people who tell you that they will meet you and dont. It really hurts a lot when lately life has been completely shitty.

I went to the movies last night, alone. It really was sad. I felt so pathetic but I really wanted to see "World Trade Center" and I went to go see it. It sucked watching other people and their dates coming in. I told one couple off because he started to bad mouth police officers. This was not the right movie to say that shit. And especially not during the fucking movie. What is wrong with some people?

I just dont know what to think or say anymore. I really need to decide what schools to apply to. John Jay would get me a few hookups in New York. and NYPD would be an amazing department to cut my teeth at. They are also world famous and respected worldwide simply because of the fact they are the NYPD.

University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC) is also a nice place. Though I dont think it will get me any connections into Cicago PD. Maybe the lovely LIV is right and change might be the right thing. I just dont know if I can afford to move to NYC. And the low pay they start you at is terrible but it gets better. I shouldnt even be thinking that far ahead. I should be thinking about right now.

I am on a diet. Basically I am planning on counting calories. I want to stay under 2000 a day. I am also eating a lot of fruits and soups for my meals. I really also need to start exercising. I want to get a membership to one of the local gyms and see what is up from there. Josh said he would join me but even he doesnt I need to start on my own. I need to do this for me and me only. Well I will contiune posting updates.

My mind is wandering but I saw Stephanie B. I dont know if she saw me but I saw her at IHOP. (I will not eat there again as I threw up the only "bad" meal I ate in a few days. I just got sick and started heacing it up. It wasnt that bad diet wise but I did throw it up as I should not have eaten it.) Seeing her reminded me of the time she used to say she would hang out with me and then she blew me off. But when she wanted to talk to Joe so she could hook up him with one of her friends she wanted to hang out with me. It is annoying thinking that I will be alone forever. I am really starting to believe that.

I need change as I state in all my blogs. Just not sure which school and city to head for. I really want to become a cop in a big city and that is all. Who knows, maybe police work is not for me. I really hate to give up on another dream. Anyways I will post later as the sleeping pill I took is really going to kick in.

Once again thanks for reading my blog.