tds

EDIT: At school today, my CDs for the radio class got jacked. This annoys me, because now i'm out Zappa In New York & the Otis Redding i just got Monday. So yeah, perfect week all over. Incidently, the show turned out better than it had any right to without anything production wise. Sucked, but didn't totally suck. I need a fucking hug.

I've always found time fascinating. Mainly the notion that things can change so abruptly, or how an event can change the course of everything. One of my favorite movies is "The Butterfly Effect," not because it's some masterpiece of modern cinema or anything (i'd definitely say it's criminally underrated), but because it explores that notion in several major ways, among other things. The notion of things being totally normal, whatever that is, until an event either positive or negative occurs that changes everything just strikes me as amazing, i think maybe because it's happened to me at least once. I really don't know why i'm even writing this, just seemed to work at the moment.

Who wants to get food or something this weekend? I need to see someone. Gotta say the worst thing about the friends i've got these days is i'm now a legit people person who enjoys regular contact. I'm such a sellout. But then i always knew i'd make a good one. I put that as a goal on one of those school assignments on what you wanted to be, although i think i meant it more in the sense i'd be selling out some venue instead of selling out in the negative sense, which by the way i don't think of as all that negative. Except when Nirvana songs are in car ads or whatever it is, because that just is far too surreal & purpose defeating.

Watching it now, i can actually see why people have compared me to Cusack in "High Fidelity." I still think it's a compliment; i'm reasonably intelligent, know my musical shit, & have totally warmed to my status as a situationally emotionally crippled narcissist with flair. I do love his apartment, though. And i need a ton more band shirts, which i have for a while, but still, bears repeating in print so i won't forget. Honestly, the shirts are the most redeemable part of Hot Topic,

God this movie is painful. Guess it wouldn't work if it wasn't, but still. Makes me want to write something of substance. Or at least comically long. And hey, unknowingly in my travels, i've got like every song in this movie since the last time i saw it. Ain't i the shit?

And it dawned on me that a big part of this slump is for the first time in a while, i have no romantic prospects. None. That hasn't happened in a while. To make it weirder, the gods have decided to send me a few odd dreams about the first girl i was in love with (Steph) & the girl who i actually legitimately believed at one time i would end up with (Susan) is coming back to town. The latter realistically could read this, seeing as she's one of those who's goal in life above all else is to be pink, but whatever. The former i haven't seen in almost exactly four years, since i was kicked out of high school, & who i haven't had any contact with in two (found her email, forgot it was hers, wrote to see who it was to tell if i should remove it from the address book or not). Her dream was strange, but that's to be expected. But my mind has been strange as of late. Very interesting stuff, albeit boring to those not me.

Radio today. Can't fucking wait.

Oh & is it normal to get telemarketers on cellphones now? Pity any asshole who tries me again.

I'll stop here. These will stop sucking pretty soon. Have faith.