tds

I've noticed, when it comes to anxiety, that there's a point where it just becomes too tight, like a guitar string. And then it snaps, and suddenly things, while fucked up, are suddenly worlds easier to deal with because the strain is gone. So, today was a good day, in that regard.

Today's deal in the music class was great. I love this class. Need...
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So, hey, anxiety. What a brilliant thing. It just doesn't leave. You'd think I was related to it. I really don't know what to really DO at this point; it's been nearly a week, and for some reason, I feel the exact same as I did when it started, despite having no real reason to at this point. Nothing is really helping, and I feel...
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A few notes:

---I'm having a hardcore panic/anxiety attack, and have been since this time yesterday. Would love to have someone around, but no one seems to be there. I don't know what anyone could do, exactly, but just having someone to talk to would be nice. I hate saying that, because it makes me feel egocentric, but still...I'm not doing well.

---Almost sure Sac...
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I've decided the appropriate term for the effects Jager has on me is "intellectually surly." Which is why I hereby retire(d) from it (a week ago). Thinking MORE when drunk isn't a very good thing for me. Stuck with beer last night; had five, paid for three. The fuck is that about? Good time was had; that Frontline99 is a good one.

I do sometimes...
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I love Tina Fey, however I find "30 Rock" to be generally subpar. This has nothing to do with anything, but it's on, and it's maybe the most hot and cold running sitcom going. TV is generally relegated to background noise anymore, but still, there's moments. That blonde chick from "Ally McBeal" is wretched, though.

Heading out Saturday, doubt anyone is coming. I'm not all...
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Feeling better. It gets better until I fall asleep, then it all goes to hell.

Apparently these nasty as fuck storms are coming in later tonight and tomorrow. Which is not all that cool, because I need to head out downtown soon. Meh. I keep saying I'll buy an umbrella, but then I realize how ridiculous I'd look with one, so I never do it....
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So, everything that can go wrong has, in fact, gone wrong as it pretains to New Years. I feel horrible, my knee and back are KILLING me, I'm in the midst of some random panic attack, and I can't get a ride to the party I wanted to go to for various reasons. I hate it.

The panic attack is the shittiest non-physical pain thing....
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As this evening is likely going to be as uneventful as a dyslexic ant farm, I'm drinking. Smell the productivity. I could go out to the bar, but...eh, not feeling it.

It's a amazing. I actually came up with a few of what those of adequate constitution call "New Years Resolutions." Well, in a manner of speaking; I know what's missing, and what to work...
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I think I'm watching "True Life: I'm a Stupid Whore." Not sure.

SO glad to be home. It's finally over. I miss reality; time kinda stops at the lake.

I have a toy parrot that records things and sings and generally is obnoxious. By the end of the week, I will make sure it knows "Straight Outta Compton," and various phrases that I know will...
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No internet. Am in a hotspot in Lakeport. I know, right?

Things oddly nice until yesterday. Apparently I'm immature, make poor decisions, am too "random" to be taken seriously, have terrible interpersonal relationships, and am basically to blame for anything because...well, because. Thanks, Mom. Oh, and apparently I'm stuck in the past as well, which makes me more angry than anything because she's full of...
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I'm too tired to post a witty response in SGSac, so I'm writing a blog. Don't ask how that works, because god knows.

Christmas shopping is as done as it's getting. Family better damn well like it.

I can't wait until this year is over. If it ends with me anything less than being retardedly drunk, i will be upset. I don't like feeling like...
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Last night was pretty there. Went out briefly for a burger, then came home. Watched "Wizards" for the first time since I was like eight, which was nice. You'd think you wouldn't be surprised if the mutant kid you named Blackwolf would turn out evil. Fun flick. And I watched "There's Something About Mary" for the first time in forever. Man, I love that movie....
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