tazzi

I haven't written a blog in quite a long time.. Sorry!!!!! (@missy not specifically a confidence-boosting weapon, but this is confidence-boosting related! So it's sort of homework :P )

So! All sorts of things have been happening since I last put some thoughts down for y'all.. Singledom, the SGAU ball and organising surgery are the main points! So basically I've been taking steps (stumbling and running more like haha) to improve my self-confidence even further :) So, even though I have been rather exhausted overall, it's worth it!

Firstly, I'm single again. Not the outcome I wanted, but I did initiate the conversation because I wasn't happy with where things were at. He has had a lot of things going on over the past 6 months (most of our relationship), which I was trying to support him through and in such, lost sight of my own happiness in the relationship. I was too focussed on making sure he was okay and happy, and getting sick with stress in the process. I finally got the guts up to say that I needed more effort out of him, ie. more than him just sitting at home, waiting for me to turn up with groceries etc that he hadn't been bothered to buy, and had no money for because he'd decided to buy some game or other. In the entirety of our time together, he never came to stay at my place (which I understood to point because I live with my mother, but when things were too much at his place, even then he couldn't be bothered coming to mine, he'd just complain about how shit things were). Anyway, I actually asked for a break, in which I was hoping he'd realise maybe he should TRY a bit, to be able to keep what he had. Even though I said multiple times throughout the whole ordeal that I really did not want to lose him, he has still taken it as that he has been dumped, I'm a bitch and that I told him to fuck off. :/ Ughhhh. I really hate it that humans are social creatures sometimes - I hate craving affection when I know how fucked up people are in general :P

So! To recover from the above bullshit, I decided to bite the bullet and go to Melbourne for a weekend, and go to the SGAU ball :D ...BEST IDEA EVER. I got to meet some of you lovely peoples and drink a fair amount of alcohol. Good times ;) I was a bit wallflowerish, maybe next year I'll be a bit more comfortable, I definitely hope so!! But overall, everyone was awesome and friendly and it really helped solidify the fact that this is a community that I love being part of :D The next day I was seedy as all hell, but I still went for a bit of a touristy wander and went to the public library to see Ned Kelly's armour which was awesome (and had been suggested to me by the amazingly beautiful @ameilia in extensive drunken conversation the night before :P haha) The building is GORGEOUS and I was completely entranced by all of the things on display :D

Slight down side to the day was conversations (for want of a better word) with the aforementioned ex, who blocked me on facebook with no real reason (which I'm aware shouldn't be as significant as it seems to be haha)..attempted to reach out to friends at home for support and got told to basically shut up and get over it, which was awesome.. however things were made better with copius amounts of beer and good conversation that evening, which also involved completely awesome random joojoo. There I was, just chilling at the bar, and I feel someone standing next to me. Turn and look, and it's one of my old friends from home!! I squeal and tackle-cuddle immediately, and we spend the next while catching up on everything that's happened in the past 18 months. It was also complete chance that he ended up at the bar I was at, it was just crazy!! Haha! Timing could not have been more perfect. Even scarier, he was on the same flight as me the next day :D we caught up at the airport for an alcoholic beverage prior to our flight (FYI Kopparberg Strawberry and Lime cider on tap is the tits), AND he was in the seat directly in front of me. IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!! Hahaha :) And again, I thank whichever energies/presences/angels assisted with the whole situation :)

So! Not long after I got home, my second set with @maddame went live :D

Kunanyi//Tranquility Link

To all of you awesome amazing peoples that have given it love and lovely comments and also to my new followers, THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!! Already it is at the same amount of love that Tazure was at when it live, and it's only been up for a few weeks! When I decided to submit both sets, my only hope was that they would hit a couple of hundred, maybe(?) so you are all making my head spin a bit :P not saying I don't enjoy the feeling though haha ;)