Hello lovelies!! @missy @rambo @lyxzen
**Slightly edited for a more appropriate homework topic :)
I saw this topic and a few things popped into my head, the typical awesomely (possibly somewhat illegally) inebriated nights out with crazy friends, the shoots I bought for myself with the epically amazing @maddame that are the reason I actually got the guts up to be a hopeful (her enthusiasm was the kick I needed to actually give it a go, and that day was sooo much fun - even if I was insanely hungover haha).
However I think that one of the things that has changed me the most was a few years ago now, when I moved to "The Mainland" to help out a friend, and ended up putting myself through one of the most stressful times in my life so far.
A bit of history is required first. As many people have, I have a few individuals that have always, and will always mean more to me than they probably should. The first person of which, for the purposes of this blog shall be called G, was a biiiiiig part of my self-confidence issues and things. I met him when I was around 14, fell head over heels (of course in hindsight, I'm not entirely sure why), and it took me about 10 years to fully break those feelings, and in this time of course he was always happy to get what he wanted. Shit times. Towards the end of this period, he started seeing a chick who will be referred to as M. We met in some ahh... fun circumstances (;)), and ended up becoming friends. After a while of hanging out with them as a couple, they decided to move to country Victoria.. not long after that, G decided to bugger off to Western Australia on M and leave her in said country town knowing near to no one, with her son from a previous relationship. The timing of this worked out with me finishing my study etc, and things with my friends weren't going so awesome, so I offered to drive over and help out, try and get a more permanent job etc.
All was good and sorted, I had my ferry ticket bought and everything was set to go. A few days before I left, I get a call from M.
G had decided to reappear out of nowhere. I asked if I should still come over, she said don't leave me, so the plan went ahead.
Then followed a few months of living with my ex and his ex and a friend of hers that she was trying to set me up with. Well until M found out why G had come back - he had slept with his best friend's other half and got busted in the act and thus run away. Following that he obviously moved out.. and because I naturally like to play the part of Switzerland, I tried to maintain my friendships with the both of them, which of course resulted in harsh accusations from M - because of course I was trying to get back with G.. :/. (At this point I'll point out that I have always been open about the fact that I loved him as a close friend, but any thoughts of anything more had well and truly passed.)
Things obviously started falling apart quite rapidly. And just because fate can be cruel, M and I were drinking with friends and a raid happened where I had stuff planted on me that definitely wasn't mine. It was just after this that M's accusations got too much for me, I'd gone to G's place for a chat because I needed to vent (no nothing kinky haha), came home and got accused of all of the things. GRR! M then decided to take her son on a holiday to visit her family - which I didn't know about until she'd booked the tickets. I'd already decided I was going to come back home for Christmas, so now what was going to be a break was definitely now a returning-home trip.
THEN. The day that my ticket was booked for the ferry, my GPS fucked up over and over again, I got lost multiple times, 5 hours worth of driving, and I was 10 mins late for check-in. Longer story short - they didn't let me on, it was a non-refundable ticket and Christmas time so no more tickets available for a few weeks.
So I was stuck in Melbourne, with like $30 to my name.
I put some petrol in the car (there was a really lovely lady at the servo that gave me free coffee because I was a shivering, teary mess), rang G and told him I'd be on his doorstep in 5 hours.
To top it off, the drive went fine, did a u-turn in G's street and the coffee spilt all over my leg.
Still, he was a legend. Opened the door with a beer in hand for me :P
And I have a feeling my Grandfather abused people for me, because I miraculously had a ticket the next morning :D
G had the day off work, and actually came with me on the drive to make sure I wouldn't get lost, and then caught the train back home. He even paid for a 24hr toll thing for me, because I'd driven on roads I wasn't meant to in my freak out the day before to get to the ferry on time. I was so ridiculously appreciative.. and surprised haha :P.
Made it to the boat with a few hours to spare before check-in even opened, pub time, much excellent!
Get on the boat, messaged M to say I'm safely leaving finally, and her response basically said "well now you're on your way, I just want to say, It's so completely obvious how in love with "G" you are, and if I'd known, I never would have invited you over in the first place".
^^This is why I don't trust/like most people^^
So it's the craziest thing I've ever done, because I REGRET jeopardising so much for someone that, amongst other things, can't see beyond themselves. But at the same time, it helped me learn a hell of a lot about myself, friendships, relationships and people.
It's taken me a few years to get over it, and I still am in some ways.
But it's true, You will be disappointed if you think everyone will do for you as you do for them. It is better to do things for people if it makes you feel good, to make them feel good. And doing her that favour did make me feel good at first, but when it's abused it's best to walk away.
(Clearly, we're no longer friends. It took a bit longer than the above, and she probably thinks she instigated it, but I definitely see it as a mutual decision :P)
Congratulations if you made it all the way through! Hopefully it's as soapie-like in it's telling as it felt living it :P
xxxx
