(SMOKES A BOWL).......now I can begin.
Would you believe me if I told you I am shy? Like horribly. But once you get to know me I can be a bit clingy. I am so lost most times. Never really headed in any one direction but trying to be everywhere I can be before my time on this physical realm dissipates. I feel like a dream. Nothing is ever solid or truth to me. I see everything as an opinion or an option or a perception. I can get lost in conversations about the universe, galaxies, conspiracies, health, love, biology (NERD ALERT), chemistry, metaphysics or absolutely anything that involves digging deep into ourselves and finding the real meaning behind searching for everything. I don't feel complete here on this Earth because there is so much hurt and hate and superficiality. We truly suck as a species. I guess that is why I have an insane amount of compassion for mentally incapacitated individuals and animals. They just don't know any better and somebody has to protect them. Gosh, here I go off on a rant about how I want to save the day and then the world every day. Yet, my reality is I am mostly bound to my bedroom most days. I suffer from PTSD. Anxiety from Hell, and I am Manic Depressive. Maybe that is also why I feel so alien. Because, what happened to me, kind of took who I was, once upon a time. I am stronger now though because of it, some could say. Yet, What I actually feel though is a whole other horse of a different color. Thankfully for the internet, I am still able to process and create and share my presence on the social spectrum. Then on top of that I can do this without actually leaving my house. I do travel though. First oxymoron of my introduction. Im a Nomad Agoraphobic. Its not actually to that extent, but I could totally see that as my future. Don't get me wrong. I love to hang out and party with people, but its only fun when there isn't that ONE person I would rather just be in bed with all day sucking out every ounce of their love and affection that I could possibly draw from their essence. Just to laugh away the rest of the world and all the crazy shit going on everywhere right now. Due to certain circumstances, that doesn't always work out so PARTY I SHALL! Although, I am a momma. So, the partying always has to be after hours while my responsibility sleeps. Sometimes I will go on whole weeklong rendezvous when I can make arrangements to escape. So Im like a covert undercover MILF ninja. (Fuck or Follow) no matter the F you choose to use, Im flattered either way. So, yeah Im doing life. Just like you. I know there are so many other beautiful girls on here who are way more ideal to the fantasy of every man and woman than just some regular old housewife, but Im doing this for me. Suicide Girls came out when I graduated high school. That will surely date me! I was so blown away by these girls that looked so much like I felt. Colorful creatures who were greeters of pain for the love of beauty. Fairytales that I wanted to Grow up to Be, and so here I am. Doing what I told myself to do. It may be years later, but the timing is perfect. Im at an enlightening period of my life. You can watch and enjoy the view. I am proving to myself and myself alone that if you are beautiful and interesting on the inside, it radiates energy to attract the masses. That, and some hot ass pictures of your beautiful vessel. ;) So yeah, Im shy. Not too sexy goddess -ish. But my mind is the most beautiful mess you will ever experience. oh and I can definitely mind fuck you pretty good with my writing. And I can get a good picture out of every 100 or so taken of me, but its just so darn hard to smile. I would love your help with that...... Pick my brain YALL. That's what its here for!!
