Lord, I've never been more confused in my entire life!!! I mean honestly can he really expect me to love him right away?! I take so much time to trust people and even more time to show them affection that's just how I am. I told him that! Then he gets all sad and just leaves, what the fuck am I supposed to think about that one?! I really don't understand him at all, even after the huge conversation we had the other night or the one we had tonight. He talks in circles, he wants me to ask him things but I can never even get a word in because he's constantly talking, which is okay because I'm a rather quiet person but I can only be quiet for so long! And then he tells me that he wants me to want to know him! But I do!! I can't really ask him things though when he's talking to fucking much, he's practically told me everything about his life by now anyway, I don't know why that worries him so much. And then to say that I'm sad all the time because I'm just "supposed to be sad" my lord, no one is born just to be sad, that's horrible.
Wow I really don't know about this. I would so much like to know him and to care for him in the future once I know him more. I just wish he's calm down and not take things SOOO incredibly deeply all the time. I long for something tangible with him so badly, I want to talk about normal things. I have no idea what he wants from me when he asks, "so how is it?" I'm like, how's the movie? how's the weather? what the fuck do you want?! And he just wanted to know what it was like being me, but honestly how does one respond to that question. He's like that all the time. I never thought I'd miss my old stupid boyfriends but it was kind of nice not having to peel my brain open with every single conversationg we had together!! I just don't know what to do, I call him my little puppy. He needs attention ALL the time, he needs someone to love him and to care for him. I could be that person after awhile, after I get comfortable around him but I'm not yet and I told him that!!! I just wish he could understand that.
Wow I really don't know about this. I would so much like to know him and to care for him in the future once I know him more. I just wish he's calm down and not take things SOOO incredibly deeply all the time. I long for something tangible with him so badly, I want to talk about normal things. I have no idea what he wants from me when he asks, "so how is it?" I'm like, how's the movie? how's the weather? what the fuck do you want?! And he just wanted to know what it was like being me, but honestly how does one respond to that question. He's like that all the time. I never thought I'd miss my old stupid boyfriends but it was kind of nice not having to peel my brain open with every single conversationg we had together!! I just don't know what to do, I call him my little puppy. He needs attention ALL the time, he needs someone to love him and to care for him. I could be that person after awhile, after I get comfortable around him but I'm not yet and I told him that!!! I just wish he could understand that.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
gwendolyn:
Thank you bunches for the wonderfully sweet comment you left in my journal. I will send previews to Elise and give her permission to let you sneak a peek as well. I'm sure I've said this 80 times by now, but I can't wait for my first set to go up. I sent it to Missy today, so it should go up, umm... 2005? 
(Don't take that comment to mean I'm unhappy with the popularity of the site-- I love it.)
(Don't take that comment to mean I'm unhappy with the popularity of the site-- I love it.)
morgan:
I have no idea if this will be helpful or not...but from what i know of you from reading your posts and journals (and seeing your lovely set), if he can understand and be patient, he's going to be the luckiest guy ever.