tatum

I need to calm this roller coaster of emotions I have raging inside of me down so much! I can't control it. I guess it's because I've only recently discovered that I have friends who genuinely love me. I never had that before, I never could trust my "friends" before who always hurt me on purpose. Maybe that's why I get so upset still now, I'm afraid that the ones I have now will only turn out to be like the atrocious friends I had before. It haunts me because that's all I ever knew before, I didn't know friends were supposed to be there for you, to listen to everything you had to say, to be a shoulder to cry on, to comfort fears, because they only made me cry and made me fear people more. My friends I have now have changed my views, opened me up and I love them so much for that. I just need to realize that they would never be like the ones I had before, they do love, they aren't going to hurt me intentionally and if I keep telling myself this over and over I'll be ok, I'll be happy, especially knowing that they will be happier themselves because they deserve that! They are wonderful people and I just adore everything about them and always will!