"Fear & Loathing in New Jersey"
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
...They say today is considered "Hump Day, but why the hell am I still horny?" Oh wait a minute .. they call it hump day because its the middle of the week .. ah now I get it, but what about the people that work clean through the weekend? When is our Hump day? That reminds me I'm still horny. Oh well, I guess it's one of those things I have to fix. (Hold that thought for a few minutes. Ok I'm back, I'm not horny anymore either.
"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
... So the day moves on, closing into another fun filled day as a retail slave. I once sat at work wondering if the customers actually believed I was this nice. There was this one time when an elderly lady stood in front of me for an hour talking about cabbage (and I work in a frame shop) and all I could do is smile and nod my head. In all actuality the whole time she was talking, I was thinking to myself, "Cabbage can be used as a deadly weapon. If thrown from the right height, with enough wind velocity an average red cabbage could crush this old lady's face into the ground allowing me to quickly run for the door screaming Tech Support!" Then quickly I realized the whole time I thought she was talking about cabbage she was actually asking me "How much was the Picture of the Catfish?" What an ass I felt like, I mean come on now, a Catfish would hurt so much more than a Cabbage. "A drug person can learn to handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this trip."
"How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs."
On that lovely note....
Stay Metal Chickens \m/
\m/
T............N..............S............
Tattooed N Screwed Superstar
PS.... "Can I call you a cab?"
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
...They say today is considered "Hump Day, but why the hell am I still horny?" Oh wait a minute .. they call it hump day because its the middle of the week .. ah now I get it, but what about the people that work clean through the weekend? When is our Hump day? That reminds me I'm still horny. Oh well, I guess it's one of those things I have to fix. (Hold that thought for a few minutes. Ok I'm back, I'm not horny anymore either.
"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
... So the day moves on, closing into another fun filled day as a retail slave. I once sat at work wondering if the customers actually believed I was this nice. There was this one time when an elderly lady stood in front of me for an hour talking about cabbage (and I work in a frame shop) and all I could do is smile and nod my head. In all actuality the whole time she was talking, I was thinking to myself, "Cabbage can be used as a deadly weapon. If thrown from the right height, with enough wind velocity an average red cabbage could crush this old lady's face into the ground allowing me to quickly run for the door screaming Tech Support!" Then quickly I realized the whole time I thought she was talking about cabbage she was actually asking me "How much was the Picture of the Catfish?" What an ass I felt like, I mean come on now, a Catfish would hurt so much more than a Cabbage. "A drug person can learn to handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this trip."
"How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs."
On that lovely note....
Stay Metal Chickens \m/
\m/
T............N..............S............
Tattooed N Screwed Superstar
PS.... "Can I call you a cab?"
paleenchantress:
HA HA HA !! i f***ing love YOu !!
paleenchantress:
i cant wait to meet you two !! 