tattoosandwhores

So I am out with my friend Mel... we are drinking coffee til about 2am... We drive back home... my front door is WIDE open. I think... DAMMIT BECKY (my sister and roomate)... WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE DOOR WIDE OPEN! IT'S TWO AM!... I walk in... and here is some passed out drunk MESSICAN who tripped over my side table, took off his shoes... and has decided to snuggle my toilet paper that I bought earlier in the day and had not yet put away. My immediate thought is... BECKY BROUGHT SOME UGLY DUDE HOME! Then... HE'S NOT REALLY HER TYPE. I see the table that he tripped over and realize his just WALKED IN. I rush to Becky's room thinking I will find her in a puddle of blood (YES I AM OVERLY DRAMATIC)... she is asleep in her little cacoon of a comforter... I rush to my room... grab my shotgun... and call the cops.

The guy was so drunk they called EMS to take him off. Becky is fine. I am fine... I didn't use my gun... I am almost dissapointed about that... I am still a little frazzled... I feel bad for Mel cause this is her first time staying at my house... UGH....

I ALWAYS LOCK THE DOOR BEFORE I GO TO BED... My sister... god bless her... forgets...

LEARN OUR LESSON.... LOCK YOUR FREAKING DOORS!!!

It will now be an inside joke... MARICIO! DONDE VIVES!? NO VIVES AQUI!


YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN A HOUSE THAT ISN'T YOURS AND A FAT CHICK IS HOLDING A SHOTGUN TO YOUR HEAD!