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tattoojew

Israel

Member Since 2004

Followers 4 Following 39

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Saturday Nov 18, 2006

Nov 18, 2006
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Hey hey hey! Just got back from the US and...

we're engaged!

Yeah, I got down on bended knee on the banks of a river in Yosemite.

Gorgeous, pristine setting in nature... see Ru55el.com

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.



I didn't tell Orly's folks we're engaged as I would rather O were here (she's still in the US). They are of the opinion things are still up in the air but I want to do it in my own "proper" South African manner. And the same went for our decision to postpone the ceremony. Yes, we were hours away from getting married in San Francisco!

I woke up at 4 and realised the time is not right.

I believed there was much to be done, even if we were only going to have a civil ceremony. Roll on Summer...



So my cast is finally off. Never broken anything other than my nose before and I am not keen to go through the experience again.

So that factor, plus the fact that I was away in the US, and now back at the orifice, are the reasons for my silence.

Of course everyone's asking me "Why didn't you stay in America? WHy didn't you get married there? When are you moving to America? Bla bla. And truth be told I ain't too keen.

The attractions - unbelievable nature (and I thought SA was beautiful) and $$$ - can wait a while.

As long as I can find a well-paid, meaningful job that benefits my career I am content to settle here for a while.

It's safe, and, compared to America, affordable. The two BIG expenses there - healthcare and housing - are easier to obtain here. And cheaper. But $20 for a tank of'gas in the US; I can live with that - won't incite me to immigrate tho wink



And Israel is more relaxed. Fewer rules. Make it up as you go. America is the land of rules ...

***

Pulling into the airport at Ben Gurion we were handed a pamphlet by a young, beseeched, pasty-skinned soldier. It read, "The IDF is conducting a security exercise at the airport tonight. Do not be alarmed if you hear gunfire or explosions, follow instructions and evacuate if told."

***

Arriving at Atlanta, Georgia, the situation was much the same - only there people took it a whole lot more seriously.

Having cleared passport control with little problem after having been confronted by a hostile border guard who gave me until Halloween to be in the country, I thought my problems were over.



My reply to the guard, "Gee, if I stay that long my boss will fire me!" He barely lifted one corner of his lips and grunted, "You have a good day, buuhd."



My next welcome was customs control.



(iPod has just finished playing Gypsy, by Fleetwood Mac. Such a magic band. Now it's...Calexico...? Not sure, I have a shuffle...)



Arriving at customs Orly n I were seperated cos me on Israeli p.port, she has the US one. "Make sure you declare everything!" she said and turned off to the right...



NO LIQUIDS.

NO PASTE.

NO GEL.

NO SHOES.



Shit, better declare by little jar of Trek8 wonder ointment. And I did. "Uh-huh. So this is medicinal?"



"Ya, like for mosquito's n shit"



And soon enough I was standing in a queue alongside a bunch of Israeli's half of them religious, everyone piling their jackets, jerseys, shoes, and small hand luggage bags into little plastic trays which disappeared into the maw of an x-ray machine. I stepped through the security gate and waited for my things to come out of the machine



It was then that they surrounded me.



BLACK FEMALE BORDER GUARD WITH A HUGE BUBBLE BUTT AND FAKE DREDS: "Do you wanna swab 'im?"



SKINNY OLE WHITE BORDER GUARD (WITH FALSE TEETH): "YeaYea. Less swab 'im" he said, running his tongue repeatedly over his gleaming white, plastic dentures.



I stood by the conveyor belt balanced precariously on one foot while struggling to pull my other takkie on as four guards surrounded me and a fifth, the SKINNY OLE WHITE BORDER GUARD (WITH FALSE TEETH), took paper swabs from a DNA scanner and began to take samples from my arms, cast and hands.



SKINNY OLE WHITE BORDER GUARD (WITH FALSE TEETH): "So, wit happened to yer arm, su'un?"



YOUR HERO: "Fell off a chair."



SKINNY OLE WHITE BORDER GUARD (WITH FALSE TEETH): "Hah! First time I herd thet wu'un. How much yoo bin drinkin?"



YOUR HERO: "What's this for?"



SKINNY OLE WHITE BORDER GUARD (WITH FALSE TEETH): "So thet we know where ya bin an what ya bin doin."



A religious guy behind me said, "My father's a rabbi. He'd love to have that machine to use on us at our house."



to be ctd...

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