One person's happiness is yet another person's heartbreak..................
Decisions I have made recently and choices I have made have hurt some that are very close to me or used to be close to. This was never my intention. I am not a vindictive or malicious person. I seek to build people up and make them feel better about themselves because with my self esteem issues it's how I would want to be treated.
To anyone who has been hurt by honesty and disclosure, I am truly and sincerely sorry. I never set out to hurt anyone...........
I am so very happy right now but it is bittersweet because of those I have hurt in the process. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, and if at all possible - for U to just be happy 4 me. The last few years I have endured tragedy and loss one on top of another. SHE helps me to get past all that pain and and darkness and isolation.
I don't want to have to censure myself on SG cuz my blogs here are one of the few outlets in my life where I can bare my soul and purge my thoughts and feelings so they aren't bottled up and hidden. To those of you who are supportive via blog or chat or both, I"m so grateful for ur friendship and acceptance and nonjudgmental attitude towards me. I know I have tons of BAGGAGE, quirks, personality flaws, idiosyncratic behaviors, but all of these things ARE what make me ME, so if U love me as a friend, a close friend, etc....MY MASKS are off here and what you see is what u get......
I miss someone so badly that I'll never see again. I would hope wherever she is watching me from that she is looking down and that SHE is happy for me too that Im no longer sulking and laying in bed depressed missing her in my life. She was everything to me and when I lost her, my world fell apart. I feel like I"m finally starting to even out and find balance and harmony again. I do not feel so bitter and so angry now. I still am to a slighter degree but I feel I have a purpose now to get up in the mornings, go about my day being productive, not lazy, and to take more of a vested interest in my family, my friends, my music, etc.....I wonder if Heather wherever she is sent HER to me. I do not divulge her name dude to the fact that she does some degree of notoriety and I want to protect her privacy. SHE is aware that I have posted about her with pix and such and she is ok with that cuz she knows what SG is for me, a place where I can be myself.............
Waking up next to this face is the closest thing 2 heaven I know.....
Decisions I have made recently and choices I have made have hurt some that are very close to me or used to be close to. This was never my intention. I am not a vindictive or malicious person. I seek to build people up and make them feel better about themselves because with my self esteem issues it's how I would want to be treated.
To anyone who has been hurt by honesty and disclosure, I am truly and sincerely sorry. I never set out to hurt anyone...........
I am so very happy right now but it is bittersweet because of those I have hurt in the process. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, and if at all possible - for U to just be happy 4 me. The last few years I have endured tragedy and loss one on top of another. SHE helps me to get past all that pain and and darkness and isolation.
I don't want to have to censure myself on SG cuz my blogs here are one of the few outlets in my life where I can bare my soul and purge my thoughts and feelings so they aren't bottled up and hidden. To those of you who are supportive via blog or chat or both, I"m so grateful for ur friendship and acceptance and nonjudgmental attitude towards me. I know I have tons of BAGGAGE, quirks, personality flaws, idiosyncratic behaviors, but all of these things ARE what make me ME, so if U love me as a friend, a close friend, etc....MY MASKS are off here and what you see is what u get......
I miss someone so badly that I'll never see again. I would hope wherever she is watching me from that she is looking down and that SHE is happy for me too that Im no longer sulking and laying in bed depressed missing her in my life. She was everything to me and when I lost her, my world fell apart. I feel like I"m finally starting to even out and find balance and harmony again. I do not feel so bitter and so angry now. I still am to a slighter degree but I feel I have a purpose now to get up in the mornings, go about my day being productive, not lazy, and to take more of a vested interest in my family, my friends, my music, etc.....I wonder if Heather wherever she is sent HER to me. I do not divulge her name dude to the fact that she does some degree of notoriety and I want to protect her privacy. SHE is aware that I have posted about her with pix and such and she is ok with that cuz she knows what SG is for me, a place where I can be myself.............
Waking up next to this face is the closest thing 2 heaven I know.....
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tattooeddad71:
TY Jay, I knew U and Ricki would be happy and that means a lot. U guys have been here for the rough times and I treasure ur friend ship so much. Miss u guys hope 2 see u soon
panda_pewp:
Couldn't be happier for you.