6/8/06
A bill to pay today and then a FUNDAY with the kids. We have money today finally so I can spend " a little".
I got into a serious funk yesterday and curled up into the fetal position. My bandmates ended up coming over and dragging my sobbing ass to practice anyways as I was going to blow off last night. (Shakira is so fucking hot, Latin women just smoke man).
I drank and smoked way too much last night and it fucked up my blood sugar royally and I blacked out. Kris had to come bring me home and I ate something and took HELLA insulin but it did no good and I've been up pretty much all night watching VH-1 (the story of Metal and videos hence the reference to Shakira) and pissing like a racehorse. I know I should know better and I'm already fucking dying and don't need to accelerate the process, but spend a day or two in my shoes before you judge too harshly. The pain at times is just too much to handle, physically and mentally. I tend then to withdraw like I was telling my sweet friend Hydra. She understands what I'm talking about, thanks hon!
There are days I envy those of you that have a carefree existence and minimal commitments and responsibilities. Enjoy it while it lasts guys, it does end at some point.
I had a friend who confided the other night that he was extremely envious of "what I had" with Kris and the kids. He said "Dude, what you have is sweeter than anything I've ever known. What you have is the real deal." All I could muster was a "thanks man...". But he's right, my wife is a saint and my kids are perfect angels and they teach me far more than I teach them. I just pray that I live long enough to see all three become adults. I probably won't but I can hope for more time, right?
Go check out the lovely Fractal's new video...wow.....
A bill to pay today and then a FUNDAY with the kids. We have money today finally so I can spend " a little".
I got into a serious funk yesterday and curled up into the fetal position. My bandmates ended up coming over and dragging my sobbing ass to practice anyways as I was going to blow off last night. (Shakira is so fucking hot, Latin women just smoke man).
I drank and smoked way too much last night and it fucked up my blood sugar royally and I blacked out. Kris had to come bring me home and I ate something and took HELLA insulin but it did no good and I've been up pretty much all night watching VH-1 (the story of Metal and videos hence the reference to Shakira) and pissing like a racehorse. I know I should know better and I'm already fucking dying and don't need to accelerate the process, but spend a day or two in my shoes before you judge too harshly. The pain at times is just too much to handle, physically and mentally. I tend then to withdraw like I was telling my sweet friend Hydra. She understands what I'm talking about, thanks hon!
There are days I envy those of you that have a carefree existence and minimal commitments and responsibilities. Enjoy it while it lasts guys, it does end at some point.
I had a friend who confided the other night that he was extremely envious of "what I had" with Kris and the kids. He said "Dude, what you have is sweeter than anything I've ever known. What you have is the real deal." All I could muster was a "thanks man...". But he's right, my wife is a saint and my kids are perfect angels and they teach me far more than I teach them. I just pray that I live long enough to see all three become adults. I probably won't but I can hope for more time, right?
Go check out the lovely Fractal's new video...wow.....
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And I'm sorry you're feeling down, I really hope thins pick up for you soon.
"There are days I envy those of you that have a carefree existence and minimal commitments and responsibilities. Enjoy it while it lasts guys, it does end at some point."
truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue that.
So sorry to hear that you're feeling so sad, but you know, a journal is a good place to put down those feelings....