tatian

everything went black today. tell me if i should be concerned...

last night i could not sleep. Or rather, did not sleep "well"... although i tried.

then today at work, of course i was damn exhausted and my legs, also, were just killing me

the past few days have been really BAD in that aspect - in that my legs have been in major pain...

but that is nothing new, really... it comes and goes and i guess when it's not one thing (major panic attakcs, twice a day) I should expect something else to take it's place... hence the pain in my legs that is pracitcally unbarable..

anyways that is beside (this) point actually... today I came home a little early from work and i knew shit was wrong when i was in a crazy (unreal) "fog" on my way home...

when i got there, I called my mom to ask her to stop by with something for the store for me (epson salts, for my legs)...

my little sister calls me later on and says she is gonna bring them instead...

after that - everything is blank.

everything.

apparently, my ex, my friend javi AND my little sister called (again)...

and I don't remember any of it.

none of it. nothing...

BLANK.

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I only realized it later on, when i checked my phone and saw three received calls... RECEIVED calls?!

Um. First thing I did was text Chris and Javi and ask them if i had talked to them....

they said yes and briefly told me what was said...

??? !!! ??? !!!

I am worried...

should i would be worried???

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and, on another note... Chris had told me that he had called to appologize for the other day... but i dont recall that conversation in the least...

aside from that tho, I am a littel irritated with him about all that... he asked me if i was "Ok" and when I said "NO" (that i was worried) he said something to the effect that "well, he wasn't there to "save me" anymore, and yada yada and that it was my decision to be SINGLE"

um... i gave him an honest answer about being worried for my main memory loss and he gives me a guilt trip about shit.

DONT ASK IF YOU DONT CARE.

jerk.

and then he brought up the fact that I changed the locks (saying that it was "harsh")

BAH! not tru not tru! - (him) Coming into my apartment, without telling me, while I am gone (to do whatever, it doesn't matter) is just NOT ok... especially since HE is NOT paying my rent or bills.

so blah.

I am still in pain, only now I am going insane (apparently) and my legs fucking hurt...

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has anyone voted on the short film yet???

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