tatian

Today is Squeak's birthday. Pls, go show her some love! she could use some *HUGS* from everyone...

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Well? What are you waiting for??? ::shews everyone towards Squeak's profile::

get get get...

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So... i want everyone to see that first sentence for ever today, so I will be "editing" this post through out the day, assuming I feel like sharing anything with you ppl... HAHA

I am in A LOT of pain today... like really, really, really bad pain... ARG. My legs especially - I wish I could not feel them right now. They hurt so bad...

I never made it to the doctor's apt. by the way... ::shrugs:: what can I say, I couldn't pay for it. SO... I couldn't go. I am trying all sorts of recommended methods to help curve this fibromyalgia and lessen the symptoms, but it is awefully hard.

It took years for me to be diagnosed with it... and it will probably take years for me to get a handle on it and for things to improve.

I've been cooking and painting a lot lately, to try and keep my mind off the pain in my legs and knees and everywhere else (but mostly my legs. Today, anyhow).

My mom should be quite pleased, I hope, because I think her 3 panel set of painted poppies are turning out quite well...

I hope she likes them When I am done, I will post some pictures of the set for you to see...

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So I kinda, sorta unofficial "quit" my dancing job. I do not belong in that business and I can't bare to step foot in that place or any place like it... not anymore. I love dancing, but I guess I'm gonna have to get over the fact that I can't make a living doing what I want to do, and NOT doing what I wont do.

I wish I could go back to go-go dancing (I hate that term, btw) I like "stage performing". LOL... but it does not pay... then again, on the other hand, neither does "stripping" cause I am not willing to do what I (apparently) "need" to do to make any money in this business.

HA. Sorry for not being a whore (???)

whatever. I am good on stage. give me a stage and a pole and I will give you a great show

But forgive me for not wanting to be a damn hooker.

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Anyhow, I have a killer resume, but no one here seems to care... and if they do, the only way I'd have a chance of even scoring a decent job is by changing who I am - covering my body (tattoos), removing my body jewelry and dying my hair back to "black" (sans PINK)... and I HATE that idea.

I am damn stubborn, but I do not feel that I should have to alter my appearence - my skills and my talents have absolutely no correlation with the way I look...

... The argument: My appearence/hair/tattoos/piercings are offensive to others.

Give me a fucking break. If I had "KKK" tattoo'd on my head, I might understand... but who is offended by body art of butterflies, drangonfly's and "Carpe Diem"???

I HATE that "argument". If you ask me, it's not an argument at all. It's simply discrimination.

So if I find "blonde" chicks with fake boobs "offensive" does that mean that they have to dye their hair and fix their breasts? .... (HAHA)...

the truth is, there will always be something out there that someone does not like, but for a company or business to say that you can not be who you are...

UM... this is what is wrong with the world. We as a species are so damned critical of eachother.

I figure, so long as I am not a huge ball of filth, my "appearence" should not matter to anyone, so long as I am respectful of others and am doing my job.

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But alas, I do not want any "responses" about this shit, cause I know we are all entitled to our opinion... and someone is going to play the devil's advocate...

Well, before you do that - let me remind you of where you are: SUICIDE GIRLS - the ultimate in "ALTERNITIVE BEAUTY".

That said, I need a job.

My skills:
- I am a HTML pro. I do this shit by hand too; no damn "cheater software".
- I am a software and hardware geek...
- I am a typing guru; ten million words a minute. Sans mistakes.
- I am a multi-line, telephone genie, fax expert, filing professional...
- I look DAMN GOOD in a woman's dress suit. WITH my tattoos and piercings.
- I can handle other ppl, manage other ppl and deal with customers - all while juggling a cat, a 10,00o dollar chinese vase and your first born child.
- I am an artist. A real artist... I can paint windows in a flash and you won't want to wash them when I am done - my work is that nice.
- I know cars. And I can work on them in 9 inch heels too... HA HA HA...
- I am good with databases; I can make 'em, break 'em and finish 'em... for you, if you wish.
- I am an internet pro; give me something you could never find. I will give you a 50 page report on it, all via internet.
- I make GREAT reports; they are neat, professional, to the point and oh so informative. HA.
- I can cook. Vegan or otherwise. I also studied nutrition for years... and know my way around a healthy diet... I could be your dietician and you'd never know that I didn't go to school for it.
- I'm a GREAT mediator and counselor... give me two ppl who are at eachothers throats... I studied psychology (am in school for it, actually) for years (prior to my years of schooling in it).
- I've worked everywhere at least once, so I am awefully familiar with ten million different kinds of "business".
- My English is DAMN GOOD; I'd make for a great editor. I was an English major/writer before I got into psychology and nutrition...
- I'm creative. Really, really creative... I finished my first database when I was 17 and I even made all the graphics in it by hand.
- I'm a good decorator. I can decorate on a budget and I can do it according to the "laws" of feng shui. LOL.
- I can sew. I can sew like a bitch...
- I am good with kids... and kid-like adults too. LOL...
- I am a quick learner too, so even if I was not familiar with something, just give me some time... I can pick up shit pretty damn fast.

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ARG. I really think I could be an asset to someone... somebody... some company... some where...
but no body loves me.

I just need a chance to proove myself. But getting that "chance" is the hardest thing to do it seems.

I am a Renaissance lady; I am into everything... I've studied everything.... I've done everything...

i LOVE a wide variety of things and have a passion for a wide variety of things...

I think this would be a good thing for a company; someone who can appreciate a little bit of everything... and do it all too.

::SIGH::

but here I am, starving... cause no one is interested in little old me or any of the "skills" I could offer.

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whatever. BITE ME. fuckers. even if you DID call me back, I refuse to faulter on my belief(s) about the whole "apperence" issue.

It's the principle....

everything is about the principle...

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Which is way I am not working at the club anymore. BTW.

Cause I believe I should be able to be a dancer/stage performer and ACTUALLY ::gasp:: get PAID for it...

what a concept: WORKING in exchange for MONEY...

HA. If you're watching me, than obviously I am entertaining you... A few bucks would be appreciated. But nope... these guys want a free show and their dicks sucked in VIP.

You make me sick... And the girls who satistfy you... make me sickER.

First off, no matter how you feel about what I do (did)... I am not, never have been and never will be a "hooker". Let's get that straight.

And... UM. for twenty dollars? PLEASE. I wouldn't touch you for all the money in the world, let alone twenty bucks, of which I would get 60% of.... mind you.

you've already insulted me by not paying me for my work.... don't fucking push it.

(Can you see why I couldn't make it in that business? HA. I'd be kicking everybody's ass.)

yep. I need a new job...

ANY SUGGESTIONS? I really do have a killer resume.

::grin::