i've been feeling pretty weird lately. its kinda like... i've kinda felt familiar with my life and my future for my entire life up until now, and suddenly i'm full of uncertainty, almost as if i've lived this life before, and suddenly i've lived longer this time than i have in any of the other times i've previously lived this life. suddenly i'm not sure of what i'm supposed to be doing, what awaits me in the future. the only thing i can do is keep living one day at a time, until i can figure things out...
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I get really knocked about mentally and physically when I get sick.
Ever since I was about 14 and got Glandular Fever and Ross River Virus I seem to get real fucked up from the flu or something once a year and relapse towards the cronic fatiuge and stuff.
Not to mention 3 bouts of "the nasty 6 letter C word" in 5 years, the last one nearly killing me(I shouldn't be here right now). My poor immune system has never managed to recover...
I'd just started to get back on track when I got this flu the other month ago now and it bought everything to a halt, hence why I get so down and grumpy about it...
Just sick of being sick I guess.. And being allergic to almost all pharmacuticals makes treating a sick me fucking impossible. I always end up back in the hospital worse from the reaction to the meds than whatever I was there for in the first place..
But I WILL be okay soon, just gotta fight it.. And although I come across so negitive about being sick I really am a very positive person about beating illness, positive minds go a long way, I know, I'm living proof...
Then I'll be happy again and maybe a bit more stable, well happier than I am now, that's for sure...(Being sick just shits me off, I can't remember what it's like not to get sick or be healthy, I'm so over it)