Got a lot on my mind today.
First, the not so thought provoking stuff.
I found an incredible site for ebooks. Not sure how its still up and legal, but if you have a nook, kindle, or any kind of smart phone, download the aldiko app and check out this website: www.epubbud.com It's awesome! I've been reading the Otherland series by Tad Williams, total nerdgasm.
I lent my external hard drive to a co-worker so he could put some vidja games on it. Ends up he has my HD for like over a month. I almost forget about it until he finally returned it today. I opened it up to get the games off, only to find I left about 7 gigs of hentai on my HD when I gave it to him...
Embarrassing.
Got the crap beaten out of me today at the gym. I'm training for a kickboxing fight in the fall, not sure when it's going to be, but gotta start now. I got a couple superman punches to the face as well as a spinning back fist that put me on the floor. I'm not sure if I got knocked out from it, but I have a feeling I did lose consciousness for a split second.
Regardless, it was rough.
Speaking of fighting, I'm feeling really overweight. Here's what I look like right now.
Sorry for the miserable quality of the phone pics, it's all I have to work with at the moment. Anyway, I realize I'm not fat, or obese, but I feel so overweight right now. You'll see my enormous love handles on my lower back, and my flabby nipples and potbelly. If I'm going to be in fighting shape, I probably need to lose close to 20 pounds of fat off my body.
Another reason this has been bugging me is because I want to do a photoset for Suicide Boys. I have two great ideas for sets, one solo and one with another boy....
BUT I feel like I need to lose some weight before I even think about getting my picture taken.
Anyway, other things that have been on my mind....
One of my personal traits that I pride myself on is self knowledge and awareness. I have a pretty rock solid understanding of myself and how I fit in with my environment, most of the time. However, over the past month or so, that's fallen apart a bit. I've told my friends, you know, I just don't really know who I am at the moment. It's unsettling to say the least. Tonight though I think I might have hit on something.
Ever since high school I've always wondered what would happen if I just didn't call anyone for a week. Didn't text, didn't facebook, nothing. Would anyone try to hang out with me? Would anyone call me to see how I was doing? Anything.
I've always been too scared to try it, because I'm afraid of what I honestly think will happen... that no one will call me. My birthday was two weeks ago and I invited like... 15 people over to hang out. With the exception of three of my closest friends who I was already with, no one showed up. It made me really sad, but I have no one to blame but myself. I'm the one that created that kind of relationship with my friends. They never call me because I'm the one that always calls them.
BUT NO MORE!
It's working so far. A very hot friend of a friend who I've only met twice randomly wanted to hang out after I made my proclamation of first-contact celibacy on facebook. (unfortunately she's a "born again christian", and only 18, but that's an issue for another day).
It's really liberating. Also, it's helped me realize how much it irritates me when someone doesn't even make an effort to spend time with me. You know what I have to say to that? Nothing, unless you call me!
Lastly, I have to say that I love love love this website. It's helped me become a lot more comfortable with who I am. This is probably in conjunction with my recent sexual forays with a very cute boy, but I've become a lot more comfortable with the prospect of being completely up front about my bi-sexuality.
Anyway, it's fucking 11:30 and I work at 6:30 tomorrow morning.
Night everyone!
First, the not so thought provoking stuff.
I found an incredible site for ebooks. Not sure how its still up and legal, but if you have a nook, kindle, or any kind of smart phone, download the aldiko app and check out this website: www.epubbud.com It's awesome! I've been reading the Otherland series by Tad Williams, total nerdgasm.
I lent my external hard drive to a co-worker so he could put some vidja games on it. Ends up he has my HD for like over a month. I almost forget about it until he finally returned it today. I opened it up to get the games off, only to find I left about 7 gigs of hentai on my HD when I gave it to him...
Embarrassing.
Got the crap beaten out of me today at the gym. I'm training for a kickboxing fight in the fall, not sure when it's going to be, but gotta start now. I got a couple superman punches to the face as well as a spinning back fist that put me on the floor. I'm not sure if I got knocked out from it, but I have a feeling I did lose consciousness for a split second.
Regardless, it was rough.
Speaking of fighting, I'm feeling really overweight. Here's what I look like right now.
Sorry for the miserable quality of the phone pics, it's all I have to work with at the moment. Anyway, I realize I'm not fat, or obese, but I feel so overweight right now. You'll see my enormous love handles on my lower back, and my flabby nipples and potbelly. If I'm going to be in fighting shape, I probably need to lose close to 20 pounds of fat off my body.
Another reason this has been bugging me is because I want to do a photoset for Suicide Boys. I have two great ideas for sets, one solo and one with another boy....
BUT I feel like I need to lose some weight before I even think about getting my picture taken.
Anyway, other things that have been on my mind....
One of my personal traits that I pride myself on is self knowledge and awareness. I have a pretty rock solid understanding of myself and how I fit in with my environment, most of the time. However, over the past month or so, that's fallen apart a bit. I've told my friends, you know, I just don't really know who I am at the moment. It's unsettling to say the least. Tonight though I think I might have hit on something.
Ever since high school I've always wondered what would happen if I just didn't call anyone for a week. Didn't text, didn't facebook, nothing. Would anyone try to hang out with me? Would anyone call me to see how I was doing? Anything.
I've always been too scared to try it, because I'm afraid of what I honestly think will happen... that no one will call me. My birthday was two weeks ago and I invited like... 15 people over to hang out. With the exception of three of my closest friends who I was already with, no one showed up. It made me really sad, but I have no one to blame but myself. I'm the one that created that kind of relationship with my friends. They never call me because I'm the one that always calls them.
BUT NO MORE!
It's working so far. A very hot friend of a friend who I've only met twice randomly wanted to hang out after I made my proclamation of first-contact celibacy on facebook. (unfortunately she's a "born again christian", and only 18, but that's an issue for another day).
It's really liberating. Also, it's helped me realize how much it irritates me when someone doesn't even make an effort to spend time with me. You know what I have to say to that? Nothing, unless you call me!
Lastly, I have to say that I love love love this website. It's helped me become a lot more comfortable with who I am. This is probably in conjunction with my recent sexual forays with a very cute boy, but I've become a lot more comfortable with the prospect of being completely up front about my bi-sexuality.
Anyway, it's fucking 11:30 and I work at 6:30 tomorrow morning.
Night everyone!
peachysweetlove:
I did the contact celibacy deal. I got sick of being everyone's on call therapist but when I needed someone... everyone was busy. Nobody wants to do things that don't benefit or entertain THEM ...so I just cut it off and tended to those who truly nurture my soul. I feel so much better. It hurts to be so lonely sometimes but it feels good to know the REAL people in my life.