Girly post warning
"Be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~~Dr. Seuss
The last week has been one of those irrational, hormonal times when I can’t seem to find anything to be happy about and I find fault with everyone and everything.
My self-confidence has been at an all time low and my need for reassurance has, I think, upset someone I didn’t mean to offend. I have to say a big thank you to rainwolfkin and missshelley for putting up with me last night. I was not myself.
I don’t like having to struggle against the bad moods, the physical pain, the paranoia, the acute sense of my own imperfections, the sudden inability to trust those closest to me. I hate the fact that I hurt people’s feelings when I’m like this.
The upshot of all this is that I went to the doctors yesterday and asked to be put back on my contraceptive pill. I was on it for 13 years before coming off it last year. Originally I went on it to control my PMS. I stopped taking it last year to see how I would cope. I thought, being in my thirties, that those awful teenage symptoms would be far behind me.
How wrong I proved to be. Every month I’ve been plagued with cramps, backache, acne, terrible mood swings, paranoia and unwelcome thoughts of self-destruction. Getting through it without resorting to nicotine or alcohol to keep me going has been a massive struggle. Trying to remain calm and not take it out on the people I care about has been impossible.
So back on the pill I go. I’m 36 hours in and already the physical symptoms are either gone or clearing up. I still feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach on an emotional level but at least the mist seems to be clearing and I can feel normality making a come back.
I know a lot of guys reading this will think it surely cant be that bad. Believe me I wish it wasn’t. When you go from relative contentment on Friday to contemplating the front of a oncoming subway train by Wednesday afternoon and you know that it’s just your hormones playing tricks on you, that you’re being irrational and the feelings will pass, but that they’ll be back just as bad next month, then you’ll know what the average woman goes through.
Still, normal service should resume in the next 48 hours.
"Be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~~Dr. Seuss
The last week has been one of those irrational, hormonal times when I can’t seem to find anything to be happy about and I find fault with everyone and everything.
My self-confidence has been at an all time low and my need for reassurance has, I think, upset someone I didn’t mean to offend. I have to say a big thank you to rainwolfkin and missshelley for putting up with me last night. I was not myself.
I don’t like having to struggle against the bad moods, the physical pain, the paranoia, the acute sense of my own imperfections, the sudden inability to trust those closest to me. I hate the fact that I hurt people’s feelings when I’m like this.
The upshot of all this is that I went to the doctors yesterday and asked to be put back on my contraceptive pill. I was on it for 13 years before coming off it last year. Originally I went on it to control my PMS. I stopped taking it last year to see how I would cope. I thought, being in my thirties, that those awful teenage symptoms would be far behind me.
How wrong I proved to be. Every month I’ve been plagued with cramps, backache, acne, terrible mood swings, paranoia and unwelcome thoughts of self-destruction. Getting through it without resorting to nicotine or alcohol to keep me going has been a massive struggle. Trying to remain calm and not take it out on the people I care about has been impossible.
So back on the pill I go. I’m 36 hours in and already the physical symptoms are either gone or clearing up. I still feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach on an emotional level but at least the mist seems to be clearing and I can feel normality making a come back.
I know a lot of guys reading this will think it surely cant be that bad. Believe me I wish it wasn’t. When you go from relative contentment on Friday to contemplating the front of a oncoming subway train by Wednesday afternoon and you know that it’s just your hormones playing tricks on you, that you’re being irrational and the feelings will pass, but that they’ll be back just as bad next month, then you’ll know what the average woman goes through.
Still, normal service should resume in the next 48 hours.
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I hope things start to improve for you now