Someone stop the planet I want to get off!!!
After my second attack of vertigo this week I finally managed to get an appointment at the local surgery. The regular doctor was on holiday so I got a locum who spent ten minutes grilling me about the local night life before we got round to why I was there.
I explained that I was not particularly happy about the current precarious tilt of the planet and the fact that it was spinning considerably faster than I was used to and has been doing this on and off since May.
Now I get to donate some of my blood to keep a bored lab technician in a job and be wired up to an ECG machine. I'm being tested for diabetes, hypoglyceamia and cardiac arrhythmia.
I'm pretty confident I dont have any of these.
If all the tests are clear I get to go back to the hospital to be tested for an inner ear disorder. These run in my family and are currently top of my list for "Genetic faults I'm most likely to have".
I've had tinnitus since I was a teenager but have learned to block out the permanent background hiss that accompanies my life, unlike my mother who also has it but has never found a way to cope with it.
My mom also suffers from vertigo. Hers is more severe than mine and I'm hoping mine doesnt get as bad. She has an inner ear disorder called Meniere's Disease the main symptoms of which are tinnitus *check* and vertigo *check*. Things are not looking bright for the fate of my dysfunctional cochlea.
There are two things I'm most worried about.
The first is having an attack in the street. This happened to my mom once and no-one came to her assistance because they assumed she was drunk. She only got help when one of our neighbours spotted her and literally picked her up and carried her home.
She now wears a medic alert bracelet.
The second is losing my hearing. Mom developed her first symptoms after her menopause and she is now almost totally deaf. She wears two hearing aids but I still have to shout at her to get her to hear me.
If the doctor does diagnose me with Meniere's I'm going to dread telling her too. I know how she thinks and she'll blame herself whatever I say.
There are some up sides to this though. The symptoms can be controlled with a good diet, particularly one low in salt, and low in caffeine which will give me the impetus I need to cut out some bad habits.
Also being able to call myself a "Menierian" has a certain alien geek cache to it. I may have to paint myself green and learn how to belly dance.
Think I'll pass on the tentacles though.
After my second attack of vertigo this week I finally managed to get an appointment at the local surgery. The regular doctor was on holiday so I got a locum who spent ten minutes grilling me about the local night life before we got round to why I was there.
I explained that I was not particularly happy about the current precarious tilt of the planet and the fact that it was spinning considerably faster than I was used to and has been doing this on and off since May.
Now I get to donate some of my blood to keep a bored lab technician in a job and be wired up to an ECG machine. I'm being tested for diabetes, hypoglyceamia and cardiac arrhythmia.
I'm pretty confident I dont have any of these.
If all the tests are clear I get to go back to the hospital to be tested for an inner ear disorder. These run in my family and are currently top of my list for "Genetic faults I'm most likely to have".
I've had tinnitus since I was a teenager but have learned to block out the permanent background hiss that accompanies my life, unlike my mother who also has it but has never found a way to cope with it.
My mom also suffers from vertigo. Hers is more severe than mine and I'm hoping mine doesnt get as bad. She has an inner ear disorder called Meniere's Disease the main symptoms of which are tinnitus *check* and vertigo *check*. Things are not looking bright for the fate of my dysfunctional cochlea.
There are two things I'm most worried about.
The first is having an attack in the street. This happened to my mom once and no-one came to her assistance because they assumed she was drunk. She only got help when one of our neighbours spotted her and literally picked her up and carried her home.
She now wears a medic alert bracelet.
The second is losing my hearing. Mom developed her first symptoms after her menopause and she is now almost totally deaf. She wears two hearing aids but I still have to shout at her to get her to hear me.
If the doctor does diagnose me with Meniere's I'm going to dread telling her too. I know how she thinks and she'll blame herself whatever I say.
There are some up sides to this though. The symptoms can be controlled with a good diet, particularly one low in salt, and low in caffeine which will give me the impetus I need to cut out some bad habits.
Also being able to call myself a "Menierian" has a certain alien geek cache to it. I may have to paint myself green and learn how to belly dance.
Think I'll pass on the tentacles though.
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Avoid the nerds!(me mother's 'other' good bit of advice to me)
ps dont get 'hit'!