The past two month or so have been as challenging as they have been exhilarating.
I just realised that I never updated you all since my last blog. I was quite unwell when I asked my then boyfriend to move out after a long period of talking about breaking up but you'll be happy to know that he has since moved out officially (by the way thank you for all of your wonderful support on my blog about that) and the relief is overwhelming. Since the break up I feel calm, collected and peaceful. So naturally, I told him straight away how I felt and I knew what that meant, that there was no going back.
The Good
Luckily for me I had planned a little gettaway to Melbourne with my girl @Dlilac to see babes and visit Sexpo (which we don't have in Sydney anymore!) to help film a few things with @cjwelsh for his YouTube channel. I can't believe how much fun I had.
Giant penis and bewbs anyone? Hahahha. The little T-Rex hands on the penis get me every time I look at this !😂 So creepy.
Me being the worst camera man ever.
Dlilac getting her portrait done my Pricasso. Hahaha her face though! She looked so scared.
@cjwelsh holding up the lovely Pricasso artwork after a long hard day of interviewing and Looking very handsome indeed.
The super sexy @twitchling and @pebblezink at the Halloween themed house warming party at which I managed to take NO photos. I spent this whole night drinking delicious lychee punch and dancing until I passed out. Best.
Thank you for having me ladies! I know it was only for a short while but just seeing your faces, having a few drinks and dancing was the most fun ever.
Oh my gosh I had so much fun.
I wish I got to spend more time with the girls but I can't believe how fast two days goes. I managed to fit in beers, babes, wine, oysters for dinner, eggs for breakfast, sexy purchases, coffee, long walks, trams and cuddles.
So I think I fit in a fair bit haha.
The bad
Returning to my world positive and full of life, the month took a downturn. I found out that the whole time I was moving on, feeling free and revelling in my alone time that my my now ex-boyfriend was waiting for me.
If there's one thing that irks me it's when instead of listening to the words that come out of your mouth people interpret them as they wish.
Lately he's been asking me what he could do to make things better. Telling me that we can get past this. Asking what I needed in order to come back.
Side note: I got a haircut and I feel cute! Just to sidetrack to happier things for a sec hahaha.
The ugly
I have answered every question by being very straight forward to lessen the confusion and make it very clear that this was a permanent change. I have been more blunt and more honest than I have been in previous breakups and yet he has responded to my answers by asking the same questions worded in a different way. He has thanks me for being honesty but then he turns the question around on me again an again and even stooped so low as to undermine my descision making capabilities and pulled the depression card last week.
"Are you sure this isn't the depression talking? You've hit bad patches before. You're pushing me away, when I could be there for you. I'll help you through this."
Oh hell no!
Long story short this ended when I broke out in tears and couldn't stop shaking. Full blown panic attack.
Least. Fun. Ever.
On to some better news
Despite having a hard time with the breakup I am feeling happier and more confident than ever. I'm smiling at the end of every day and I wake up smiling every morning. Thank you to those who have helped me become a happier me 💜 Trust me, you know who you are.
Yay to having my zest for life back!
Ok now, I have some great news... Melbourne I'm coming back! I will be back on the 3rd December for another (too short) two day holiday. I'm hoping to catch up with a few more people but most likely time will fly and I won't get to see everybody haha.
Plus, in one weeks time my next set, Lie To Me shot by @Victory at Sydney shootfest 2015, will be in member review!
Yew!!!!
This set was all about feeling sexy. We really got our creative juices flowing, I focused less on poses and structure and more on feeling it and flowing with the set. If I do say so myself I think Victory and I have created magick and I am beyond excited for everyone to view it.
Be sure to keep and eye out for it out and please let me know what you all think. Like, comment, tag, private message me or all of the above!
And while I'm at it
There is so much Aussie gold in MR right now that I cannot help myself. I am always so proud of talent we have coming out of Oz, but recent the quality of art being produced is blowing my mind. So here is a little taste...
If you haven't already, you NEED to see these sets.
@Twitchling - Dynamite by @frankndame
@Ambra - Clarify by @Coolicio
@Maddame - Somber by @danielklaas
@Emmameow - You're so last summer by @exkyu
@Verde - Giddy up by @coolicio
This is just a taste of the crazy amazing sets that have been released in the last month!
All Male Review
As I mentioned above Delilac and I accompanied long time member CJ to Sexpo in Melbourne. This was for his kick-ass new YouTube channel the All Male Review in which he has fun reviewing male sex toys.
Speaking out on the stigma of male sex toys and male sexuality in general is not only important, it's hilarious. 100% worth a follow.
Click here to see Episode 4: Sexpo
👆🏼 I filmed this.
Thank you so much for bearing with me, this was a long blog hahaha. You are all awesome and I love you.
Amaryllis oxoxx
