My head is absolutely filled with bad jokes thanks to my dad, so this homework blog suits me just fine haha. So here are the best, the worst and the funniest jokes I know.
WARNING: this will be equally as long as it is awesome.
(Prepare yourself)
The limbless series
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at your doorstep?
Matt.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs shoved in a letterbox?
Bill.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pond?
Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a car?
Jack.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole in the ground?
Doug.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole in the ground covered with soil?
Phil.
(*Snort* they're so good)
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs that's getting humped by a stag?
Still fucking no idea.
(Heh heh heh...)
The Aussie ones
Why did the first koala fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
It was attached to the first one.
Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?
It was attached to the third one.
Why did the kangaroo drop dead?
Because four koalas fell on it's head.
(Lmao)
The quick and the bad
What is read and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
Why do bees hum?
They don't know the words.
How did they build the first flight of stairs?
With a step by step plan.
What did the telephone say when she was asked on a date?
Sorry, I'm engaged.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
(.......)
My favourites
I went to the Optomotrist today and was diagnosed as colour blind. Scary, it just came out of the purple!
There were two sausages in a frying pan. The first sausage looks over at the second sausage across the way and says "hello". The second sausage yells out "Look, it's a talking sausage!"
(Can't... Stop... Laughing. Dead)
I hope you enjoyed my bad jokes. A laugh a day keeps the Blues away ☺️😉
Thanks to @missy @rambo @charmaine & @lyxzen for the topic!
Much love ox
