tantrum_child

Fuzzy fuzzy
brain's a mess
clouded
lonely
numb

dunno how i'm feeling
finally got what i wanted
almost
and it just doesn't feel right
unsure of whether that's because
it's only "almost"
or if it's because
i'm just too restless
i have itchy feet
i look around
and i dont want to be here

where have i gone?
I've lost myself
any defining characteristics
shadowed
by all this drama
that's happening

he wants to take me in
wants to keep me safe
but i resent that
because i don't know me
right now
i'm comfortable but
i miss hair and make up
i'm content but
i miss laughing with friends
i love this life
i love this truth
i love it so much
but i don't want to lose myself
in him
in us
in disillusionment

i just want to remember
how to be
me


I'm sure as soon as my debt
uplifts and finances
flow more freely
i'll find this easier

bring on the insurance payout!


I'll leave you with some photos!
Me & Mum at her stupid Cowboy 40th birthday

me and my girl holly
coffee that i made lol

Jo & I at work

Reprazent Jacks!

Me & Ann-Marie, my newest playtoy